Mystoryofdomesticabuse.de

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Love again ?

 



 Do I believe it's possible to find love and trust again after domestic abuse  ?.......


     ðŸ’•  Yes I actually think that you can  💕


I say yes but it really all depends on the individual and how they have delt with their past experiences. 

To put your trust in someone's else's hands is a major commitment in normal circumstances, but to do it after any form of abuse can unfortunately take a very long time, but its not an impossible dream and even after the most horrible time love can be found in the most unlikeliest places ( yes , I'm a big old slushie romantic at heart ) .

     The person who wants to earn your love , trust and respect will have to work hard to get it at the best of times but when it comes to a survivor of domestic abuse the person involved may have to contend with an possibly outrageously high wall to scale first , that doesn't mean to say it can't be done but it won't be an easy task either .

Flowers are always a lovely supprise but any experienced abuse survivor will tell you that is one of the first things an abuser will do to try to show their sorry and just like the meaning behind those flowers they will soon crumble and die .

          





   Personally I think it's the small almost unnoticeable things that show how much someone truly cares about you . That first cup of tea or coffee brought up to you in the morning without being asked or wanting anything in return , the door being held open for you as you enter somewhere or even the noble gentleman who always walks on outside of the pavement when your walking along together ( to obviously keep their sword hand ready if needed of course ) , yes all perhaps a little old fashioned but it still shows they were brought up to show respect to others .

  Love is a simple four letter word but it can create no end of problems , who remembers that all important interview with Prince Charles ( Now known has King Charles the third ) and the then Lady Diana when the Prince was asked about being in love and his answer was " what ever love is " this comment has since gone down in British history , everyone has their own opinion of what love is and how it feels and he unfortunately didn't do a very good job trying to show it that particular day .

     What's my definition of love ?....

    To me it's simply just knowing , it's like finding that long lost piece of a jigsaw puzzle that just fits perfectly in place .

   Do I think those that domestically abuse know how to love ?........

   Possibly but they tend to mix it all up with the need to own whoever they are with at the time and that can't be very healthy in any relationship. 


  




 So let's look into how to earn the love , trust and respect from someone you care about . 

First you need to always be true to yourself and don't pretend to be someone your not . 

 If you really like someone and they have built a secure wall around themselves just don't rush things , take things at whatever speed the other person is most comfortable with . No amount of romance will charm instantly so let that person build their own form of trust in you and maybe just maybe love will grow .

  



Like I've said I'm a big Slushie old thing at heart but it'll take more than just a simple bunch of Supermarket daffodils and a box of chocolates to win me over , as a survivor I can honestly say that yes I have my own wall of self defence but I'm extremly lucky to now have a Knight in shining armour who isn't afraid to battle any dreaded dragons that might appear behind that wall ( not the easiest of jobs but his doing well  ) .


   Can Happy Ever After really exist ? .......


  Yes ,  I genuinely believe it can but only if and when you really want it to .There's loads of others who have found their own version of Happy Ever After so never stop believing it can't happen for you . Don't let that one ( or more )  nasty bad experience put you off ever being happy again  , it may take years but it will be all well worth the wait in the end .

Love is like a seed and it needs to be carefully looked after if you want it to grow.

       



 

Trust is something else altogether it can be become dented and almost to the point of feeling like nothing can repair it , it can take almost forever to be able to put your trust in someone again but it doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try , start gently with small steps and then see what happens , there's no rush . 

Respect is something that I think should  be earnt too as my mother would say " Respect first you should earn it and second you should deserve it " and that most deffinatly works for any domestic abuser that demands that you show any respect to them . You may think you love your abuser but I'm afraid to say you dont , you love the person they pretended to be when you first meet or even the nice side of their ever changing Jekyll and Hyde character but if you were completely and honestly loved back in return then they wouldn't do what they do regardless of what they say or do  .


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Always try to love , trust and respect yourself before you do it to others ..........💕






 






  





  


 


   




  


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