Mystoryofdomesticabuse.de

Sunday, July 30, 2023

The calm after the storm .

 


Domestic abuse victims can't always see it at the time but......... 

 These wise words above were once said by Mother Teresa and she certainly had a really good point . 
A smile can be the first thing you always greet someone with when you meet them and I'm a firm believer you should always pass a smile on to someone else who may need it . 

 As you can proberly gather from the photos  used ( all my own and taken today ) I'm back  to one of my happy places fishing again and what a simply perfect day to pick to do it  . As I'm sat here in beautiful early morning sunshine with my first of many endless cups of tea ( and waiting for my bacon sandwich to arrive ) , I can hear Robins , Chiff Chaffs , Canada geese , Sparrow's singing their hearts out and in the distance there's a Woodpecker doing its thing . The various wildlife I've seen or heard whilst waiting for the fish in the past have included grass snakes swimming across the water , brilliant blue flashes of kingfishers , mice and even owls calling as the light begins to slowly fade and its always worked to keep me chilled out and relaxed . 

 What's there not to smile and be happy  about ? .....




I remember those days of domestic abuse all too well when life wasn't nearly as easy going as it is now , there were days where I used to seriously wonder if life was even worth waking up to in the morning . Every single day involved an extremely carefully mastered and well used action plan involving doing everthing I was told or controlled to do in order to just keep the peace and calmness going for as long as I possibly could  . 
  Basically it was a case of being seen but never heard and jumping into which ever fire pit was requested at the time regardless of whatever pain it could create and just keep on being the performing monkey that I become over the years .

  Smiling , being happy and actually enjoying myself was of course never an option .






Weekends or holidays could be the worst occasions because it meant it was just me , my now ex and the kids and there was no one else for him to perform his favourite act of being  " a genuine really nice guy " to .
  I would just simply go straight into auto pilot self protection mode where I would just simply stay quite , make his coffee and try to create what ever food was demanded .
Walking on egg shells or thin ice became a perminate daily event and a volcanic super sized eruption could be expected to happen at any random given opportunity so I learnt over time to always be on my guard .

  Yes as I've said before we did have the odd good day but I never really totally trusted them .  Abusers seem to only recharge themselfs with anything that's negative and being positive about something only seems to drain away their charge away even more quickly .

There would certainly have never ever been any totally ridiculous just sitting around a lakeside watching the world go by or waiting for the fish to catch the bait .... Nope that would have been considered far to much of a good thing so we just had to sit and enjoy watching what ever football match that happened to be on instead or whatever playstion game was being played ( both with added swearing at any given opportunity ) .



A really good question is.....does fishing mean that I am harming or abusing the fish in any way just like the abusers of this world do to others  ?....
 
         Not when I do , it absolutly never . 

  Any fish caught are simply just reeled in , seen how heavy it could be , the traditional photos taken and then they are placed very carefully back in to the lake so they can happily swim away again to live another day and they are never ever taken back home ( its more about the actual catching of the fish rather than the eating of it ) .

I'm a big major being outside kind of person I guess ( but you've already worked that one out already )  and all the peace , calmness and tranquility I can find there , not being shut up inside for me is just completly priceless for me and I dont think I could ever deal with an office type job .

Mother Nature has always been my place to go to place during good or bad times , when ever things got far to much to bare I could always be found somewhere else outside even if it meant I was just doing a bit of gardening in the pouring rain or cutting branches off a tree in blazing hot sunshine .

 My day today started with a great big smile full of anticipation for the day ahead and even if it looks like the weather could change at any given moment I don't care , I will remain smiling and being content with the world all day long because this domestic abuse survivor now fully appricates every single day she's lucky enough to be given 😊
I mean just really take a good look at the pictures used here and then tell me its all not worth it ( all taken by myself ) .
How can you possibly not help being happy and totally enjoying the whole amazing and outstanding day when theres scenery like this out there to make you appreciate absolutly everything ?.....
It never ceases to impress me on just how totally brilliant it is when your watching the seasons slowly change and the all the colours it can give you completly free of charge .

 I'll admit it..... I'm nothing but an utter and complete outside addict and proud of it !!!


  


 





 
  
  






Countdown to positivity.

  28 years of suffering domestic abuse was more than enough for me thank you very much and those years as I've said many times before I ...