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A domestic abuser hates anyone telling them a possible lie but they are the worse offender for doing it...........
Abusers absolutely hate lies... fact !!!
They choose to not to want to believe a single word anyone tells them and if what they are told later gets proven to be the truth and factual then they will just simply become very vocal about the person who was talking to them stating that they are nothing but an attention seeker or their were exaggerating about everything they had said .
If you tell an abuser it's due to rain at some point that day be prepared to have at least 5 weather reports , a rain gauge and a rather nifty and convenient weather forcaster in your pocket as proof , You will still not actually be believed untill it totally hammers it down relentlessly for hours and even then they will declare its not really raining but its just very heavy dew instead .
Abusers seem to have a natural or rather should I say unnatural ability to disbelieve every single word they are told .
Abusers will react to any lie told as if it were a major horrific crime scene , they will become all dramatic and deeply offended ,
sometimes just sometimes a little white lie has to be told in order to keep a secret ( think Christmas or birthday surprises ) but even that can be held and used against you when they decide to create yet another argument or its used as blackmail in order for them to get whatever it is they want .
You can try to lie to an abuser but I would never recommend it . They will grill and interrogate you always trying to catch you out at every single turn and if once after you get found out ( no matter how small or insignificant that little white lie could be ) then you will be sentanced and condemned to either a massive temper explosion or a long term spell of the big dreaded killer Silence .
You will be labelled and confirmed as a well known lying traitor and you will instead get upgraded to being an perminate mentally unstable offender ( had that one thrown in my direction loads of times ) and you should never be trusted by anyone ever again . Yet they will then tell their version of overdone and dramatic lies in order to get others to believe its not their fault but all yours instead for lying .
Abusers however can tell as many lies as they feel fit no matter how extreme that lie might be and if proven to be a lie they will then become all intensively offended on why you didn't believe them in the first place and then try to blame you for making them having to tell the lie in the first place .
Their don't seem to have the intelligence to even make their own lies realistic enough to want to be believed sometimes or their theory is that if its not mentioned then therefore it never happened and nobody saw or even heard it and if you challenge what they may of said guess what can happen ?......
Yep you then get accused of telling lies .
My now ex very kindly informs others that I was the one having an affair ( not true ) and that's why we separated but what he fails to mention was his constant abuse , his need to conrol over everthing or the fact he had been on a dating website for at least 6 months before it all happened .
Meanwhile he of course portrays himself out to be the total and complete innocent party who would never hurt a fly .
Domestic abusers are very good at sometimes adapting or extending a lie ,
The story my now ex used to love to tell was when he was once with his now ex wife , he said he caught a man he didn't know walking out the main door to the block of flats they used to live in , this story grew into an epic novel over the 28 years I was with him for .
The story changed from the main door to their own front door and then it became he actually caught both of them sitting in the sofa together as he walked in after work one day and so the story just kept on growing untill it became that they were obviously having an affair and doing all sorts of other stuff whilst he wasn't there ( apprently he knew that they had been in the bed because the bedding had been changed that day ) .
I should imagine similar stories are being told about me now .
What I've never really understood is why is it so criminal for others to lie to them but its fine for them to do it to other people ?.....
It's yet another of the many questions I can't and never will be able to answer about abusers and what they do .
Abusers don't seem to know how to treat other people the way they would wish to be treated themselves , they just do what ever they they want , when ever they want and to to who ever they want without caring who or what gets in their way and there can be all sorts of chaos if it doesn't happen .
They will attempt to get out of any awkward situation they might find themselves in and if all else fails they will put their mask on to do the very one thing that they apprently dispise the most..........they just simply lie their way out if it .
The most frustrating thing is domestic abusers are incredibly good at what they do when it comes to telling a lie , they will do the classic sad wide eyed innocent puppy dog look and then simply just lie away .
I know a case where the particular person involved was ( still is I'm sorry to say )
is so good at what they do that they have most successful managed to get themselves rehoused not just once but twice claiming the domestic abuse card when in fact they are the abuser in the first place !!
Lies can eventually get found out and so can abusers , my suggestion to you is if you have to listern to any from your abuser is just to smile sweetly , nod your head as if in agreement and understanding and just let it all just wash over you , they won't remember the lie they have just told so why should you ? ......
