Trust may only be a small five letter word but it's one of the biggest things you will ever have to do in your life .....
From the very moment you are born you will need to put your trust in other people , the nurses or doctors that help you take your first breath and your parents for the decisions they take to raise you .
You need to trust your teachers to help provide you with the right education to see you through life that then this in turn leads you to having to trust your future Boss and work colleagues , the list of people you need to trust in life just goes on and on .
Then you'd like to think that whoever you decided to settle down and spend your future with would trust you just as much as you trust them but unfortunatly this isn't always the case , You may trust them but they may not necessarily always share the same level of trust back and this is where some problems can lay.
Domestic abusers have a major serious lack of trust with anything , everyone and anyone and especially with the person they are with at the time and the same person who they are supposed to care about .
Because of their total and complete lack of trust you could find yourself not able to do some of the more normal everyday things in life .
Personally I wasn't allowed to have a bank account , work or spend too long doing anything else that didn't invole putting my now ex at the centre of my attention and because I simply wasnt trusted I therefore wasnt allowed to do anything , go anywhere or speak to anyone ( especially not the opposite sex ) .
Even just taking a quick five minute trip to the local supermarket for a loaf of bread or a top up of more milk had to be done with full military persission timing or else I could fully expect my phone to ring and I could find myself either having to put my camera on to prove where I was or hold my phone in the air so the background noises could be heard ( with no thought given on how daft I might of looked at the time ) .
You naturally want to trust who you are with not to hurt or harm you in any way but that trust can get slowly and painfully broken down once the abuse starts , it can creep up on you unexpectedly just when you least expect it and then slowly it all begins to take-over your entire being , if you some how manage to escape from your abusers web a valuable part of your jigsaw puzzle in life then becomes lost and its that special little piece you need called trust .
It may only be a small piece but it's crucial part and it's really difficult to live life without it , it's not untill you stop to think about it that you realise just how many people and things you need to put your trust in during one single day .
Can you genuinely hold your hand up high and declare , yes I have the capability to put my trust in someone else !!!! ?......
I might of taken me a brief spell to get there while but yes I can say I have my lost trust back , I still rely a lot on my intuition about some people but as a rule its never really let me down .
If I'm unsure about someone then I always try to give them a fair chance , some become life long trusted friends and some are just left to annoy someone else in a differentplace preferably .
Those that become friends are just like a true diamond , they are very rare but incredibly valuable and I certainly wouldn't be where I am without them ( they know who they are and that I will never be able to thank them enough ) .
Then you have to make that massive big decision of can you ever trust someone else in your life again ?....
No one else can make that decision for you but yourself , yes you can simply just wrap yourself up in a form of bubble wrap to protect yourself for the rest of your life never trusting anyone ever again or you can take a great big deep breath , take the lesp and try again to find the missing piece of your puzzle with someone else , if your lucky the trust you once lost will be easey to get re-found once again and life can then just continue in its own sweet contented little way .
Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't and sometimes you may need to just keep on trying with it but you will never know untill you give it a go and put your trust out there with someone . You may need to start your entire jigsaw puzzle all over again but it can and will be all worth it in the end and the end result could be a great improvement on the last picture you were trying to create .
Piece by piece start slowly putting it all thse pieces back together again making sure you are totally happy that each and every bit fits exactly way you want it to be , Never try to rush it and just always take your time , it's your future your building so why not make it a good one 😊 .
It's your own personal jigsaw so why not design it your own unique way and in your own time , you get to choose what's in the end result so don't waste your time on anything fake and slways use the real pieces that fit .
Always believe that one day you will find all those valuable missing pieces and that jigsaw will finally get completed , maybe not as fast as you may like it but it will and can happen and your life will start to begin feeling complete too .
I was lucky and found my missing piece 😊
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