Thursday, October 5, 2023

Ying &Yang.


If Domestic abuse is the Ying then the freedom that can be found after it must then be the Yang ......

As you must already know I'm a bit of an old hippy at heart ( more than a bit I think ) and I reckon that there are loads of really good examples of Ying and Yang all around....... 

  The statement at the very begining of all of this is totally true in my mind , domestic abuse is the extreme intense darkness and the freedom you can get from it when you break away is the bright happy ever after sunshine . Maybe its a very simplistic way of thinking and looking at it but if it works for me then I'll just keep on thinking it .

This eternal annoying optimist always somehow regardless of what's going on in life always seems to be able to look on the bright side about everything . It's nothing that I've taught myself to be But it's just the way I've always been and it all comes to me perfectly naturally , if I see or feel anything even just slightly negative then I always try to turn it into a positive . I even share the positivity around as much as I possibly can because I've got loads of it to share around .  

I may of spent far too long letting myself be domestically abused ( yes I take a very small portion of the blame because I let it happen longer than it should of done ) but the way I look at things is that it's taught me some very good important lessons in life and without it I certainly wouldn't be talking to you all now .
  I've always enjoyed writing and even thought when I was growing up that maybe one day I'd get really brave and clever enough to perhaps even write a book ðŸĪ” . 
This is where my perminate positively comes into play , why can't I write my book , there's no one stopping me doing all the things I want to do now , if I can't believe in myself then who else will !!!

 I think the great Oscar Wilde had the right idea , it's all about being happy in your own skin and being true to yourself . 
There was once a time when I had absolutely no idea who the hell I was but now the real me is out and enjoying dealing with everything that life decides to throw in my direction . 
If I'm honest the confidence is still a little bit shaky sometimes but its getting a lot better and doing these posts have been a great help , knowing that someome out there somewhere is reading any of them is also a nice positive thought ( and I thank you for it ) . Sometimes the smallest and simplist things in life can somtimes give the biggest and best results .

Thinking positive doesn't always come naturally to some and that's one of my many reasons of why I like to share mine all around , it doesn't cost anything and the whole idea of it is really easy just need to start with a smile 😃. 
Smiles can be highly contagious , once you start to smile then someome else will and so it can just keep travelling along making everyone else feel good . 
 Feeling good and positive can help build your inner strengh , it can make your day be brighter and it can help take away the pressure and the stress that life can somtimes bring . It's all about your state of mind and how you want to deal with things .

You have all read by now about my favorite happy place is just being outside and I fully believe everyone has their own one somewhere , I do some of my best thinking in my happy place , I have my best ideas and some of my better photos are taken there too . 
I count myself extremly lucky to get some of my positivity from simply just absorbing all that Mother Nature has to offer and the bonus is it's all being given out for totally free !!

 It's Autumn time here in England and the leaves are just begining to fall , conker (horse chestnuts) hunting is in full swing and the evenings are slowly getting a little bit cooler......and it's all simply just absolutely perfect .

Granted Its just my own personal way of looking at things but that's what you get when your a positive thinker , you see only the best things and never the worst .
Even during my most dark days I would try to stay as  positive as I could because that was one of things that couldn't be taken away from me somtimes it wss about the only thing that would keep me going .

The photo below was taken by myself this afternoon whilst on a brief after work walk , and I have to admit I had great fun listening to the birds singing whilst crunching my way through all those gorgeous various golden colours , I must of looked like I'd just escaped from somewhere Ãēr like an over grown 4 yesr old as I was smiling away to myself with each and ever step I took but I couldn't help it of care less , I loved every single minute of it and the sound it all made was absolutely fantastic . In fact thinking about it I may just have to go and do it all again another day really soon before the weather changes and the leaves all crumble away to nothing .
 I never see Autumn as the end of summer but instead I see it as the whole brand new beginning for next years glorious display .

  Life is too short to get it wrong and you only ever get one go at it , so why not make the mostt if what youve got 😊 .



Wednesday, October 4, 2023

Domestic abuse awareness month.

Domestic abuse awareness month is in October !!!!!

 and its proof that slowly very slowly other people are being made aware that domestic abuse actually exists .

  My own personal story first started way back in the very early eighties when I first met my now ex , I was young and gullible so I fell for all his woe is me stories , I never really noticed straight away what he was really like and even when it did happen it was over a period of time so I never really noticed it happing untill it became all suffercating and I ceased to exist as myself anymore  .What first started as just the odd little "constructive criticism " ended up becoming emotional abuse , financial abuse, intimidation , manipulation and rape ( agreed to it reluctantly only after being heavily pressured into it ) .There were even a couple of times were my mental state had become so bad that I even considered ending my life just to excape from it all . My story isn't as horrendous or dramatic compared to some others but thats my personal reason for doing exactly what I now do here  , facebook , Instagram , Quora , Threads and X .  

I think I've earnt the right to shout out loud about domestic abuse and I will continue to so  so for as long as I possibly can  !!!!!!

No one ever has the right to abuse someone else ,  no one ever asks for it and most deffinatly no one ever deserves it . The problem lays with the abuser and never their victim , they are the one's insisting on behaving like a spoilt little superbrat throwing thier pathetic temper tantrums or striking out and its all their fault when their victim wakes up to reality and gets rid of them and no one else's. 

If you happen to be reading this or any of my other posts and think to yourself I wish I could just leave or chuck my abuser out then why not just make domestic abuse awareness month the time you do it . scary thought maybe but only at the begining and once you find that all important help then life gets very much easier. Reaching out to find that support and help from various brilliant groups can be just the first step to great brand new existence free from your dark foreboding world that once was . 

My life now is totally domestic abuse free and if anyone dares to even think they can get away with it now they will most certainly be put back under that rock they once crawled out from . 

My abusive past has made me become mentally stronger and I've learnt so many valuable life lessons along the way .  I'm nothing special or inspirational I'm just a normal slightly dented everyday honest and genuine person that now despises anything that is connected to domestic abuse ( not all the positive stuff obviously ) .

My ex hasn't and will never change his still doing what he does to others and I now talk to some of the one that have made their bid for freedom just like I did . There was a very brief moment of worry recently when I discovered he had moved a little bit closer in my direction but the logic kicked back in and I know now that his nothing but a weak and pathetic little slug that wouldn't be brave enough to come anywhere near me now . Let him think his the hottest thing out there trying to get his next victim from his favourite dating site but what he doesn't know is that two complaints about him have now been filed on it and his due to get blocked from it very soon .

Nowadays I get to be completely true to myself and for what ever I want ( all within reason of course ) , I go out when I want , I wear what I want , I talk to whoever I want and most importantly I now have my total and absolute freedom . 

You've seen some of the photos I get to now take involving the very many different places I now get to go to and I now count myself incredibly lucky to be able to have the opportunity to be able to do it  all .

Fishing for example became a newish thing not long after the ex left and it's now become a regular event either just simply grabbing a couple of hours after work or getting up at silly o'clock in the morning to spend a very enjoyable day doing it , my inner peace battery goes automatically onto recharge and I just totally relax with no hurry or worry . That hidden old hippy that lives inside me wouldn't change all the benifits I now get from it for the world and whilst my day is all calm and peaceful my ex can keep his football , PlayStation and his nasty little bitter habits to himself because I simply just love my way of life now !!

Maybe I should be grateful to my ex in a strange bazaar sort of way because if it wasnt for my experience with him I wouldn't be living the kind of life I'm living now and I certainly wouldn't be writing on here or anywhere rlse for that matter . I wouldn't know anything about domestic abuse back then and I most certainly wouldn't be trying to reach out to as many people as I like to think I am now . 

  Domestic abuse is wrong on so many levels and it doesn't matter if your gay , straight,  black , white , old or young it's still and always will be abuse . it will never be acceptable behavour from anyone and those that abuse most certainly don't deserve anyone's affection or attention .

Please don't let Domestic abuse awareness month go unnoticed , remember those that have suffered or are still finding themselves surrounded by it but especially spare a thought to those whose lives were ended before they should have done by someone else's hands because of it .

 If anyone needs a trusted listening friend then please find my Blog email in my profile , all contact will of course be kept totally confidential. 

Now let's end all this on a positive note after all that negativity and always remember to breath that good air in on order to allow all that bad air out .......

( photo taken myself .



Risk Factor.

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