Domestic abuse is all about the control . Who you talk to , what you wear , where you go and eveything else you do in your day by day life ....
Just imagine having a list of all the things you've always fancied doing but your blocked at every move you make 🤔 , it doesn't matter how crazy, weird or unique those thing in your head might be , unfortunatly the abuser becomes a massive kill joy for everything and you find yourself putting all those dreams on the back burner .
What's on your bucket list ?....
There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a list tucked up in the back of your mind stuffed full of random , reasonably hopefully not too painful pipe dreams . I'm fairly positive most people have one and it's entirely up to the individual on how , when and where they manage to achieve
them . Remember growing up and day dreaming or wishing on a star that you could be a princess , world cup scoring football player , Formula One racing driver or maybe even a beautiful rainbow coloured glittered unicorn .
Now just how many of those dreams or wishes have become a reality ?....( OK , maybe the Unicorn thing can be marked as a bit of an impossibility 🤔 )
Living with a domestic abuser means that all those plans have to go on a long time hold because your wants and needs are never classed as a consideration in things , just as long as the entire world revolves around the abuser in your life they don't care very much about others.
If your brave enough to speak about anything that may be on your wish list you can garrentee what ever it is will get laughed at or ridiculed and then what they think is the most funniest joke will get thrown back in your direction at any given deeply embarrassing moment .
My advice is to keep all those those longed for desires securely stored somewhere safe and use the time to build and improve on them because you never know when the opportunity will arise to put one or all of them into action.
What was on my bucket list ?....
Ever since I was young and I had read my very first book all by myself ( Pip the pixie by Enid Blyton ) I've had a love of reading and that then devolped into thinking to myself I could maybe one day write something too , and now I like to think I'm doing just that ( not exactly what I expected to write but you should always expect the unexpected ) .
I spent many years with five peicings in my ears ( two in one side and three in the other ) and always quite fancied a few more . Now since I'm a free person I've gained another two ( I've got a bit of a strange thing about only liking odd numbers in my ears 😊 ) .
Another one marked off my list was having a tattoo , not everyone's idea of a good thing thing I know but especially after having my children I wanted a way to mark the event and carry them with me always . I now have 3 stars representing them on my arm and a dragonfly on the other one .
None of the above I know for sure would never of been able to happen if I was still trapped in my prison of domestic abuse , I can hear the mockery and the sarcastic comments in my head even now that would have been flung in my direction and the laughing callous voice stating that I was far to old to be that silly and ridiculous , guess what ?....
I don't care less now !!!!!
I might just decide to get even more holes in my ears and more tattoos in years to come , I might suddenly decide I fancy writting a best selling romantic novel or even emergrate to the moon , the whole point is that I can now do whatever I want and some of my dreams are just not wishful thinking anymore .
That's just one of the hundreds of good reasons why I'm now grateful for having my new found freedom , to me it's now priceless and I'm refusing to waste anymore time not enjoying it .
Freedom from a domestic abuser is like having your prison door being suddenly unlocked and then opened up after years of cruel punishment , taking those very first steps can be a bit scary to begin with but each and every step forward means that things can only get better as time goes by .
All those dreams and wishes can come true after abuse , being free means you can not only wish on that falling star but you can grab tight hold of it and ride it to a completely different and even better new existence . Don't every stop believing in those dreams or wishes because their all yours and if you believe in them hard enough then one day they might just all come true .
I know I'm a little selfish when I use my past domestic abuse experiences as examples for my many variouse posts but to be honest their all I've got as reasonably decent , reliable , genuine examples and I know I can use all of it safely without any harm or malice to anyone else .
Thanks to my breakaway for freedom a few years ago I've gained so much more in life and I truly wish the same for all those that have been there or are are still there . The feeling of complete and total release from domestic abuse is unquestionably the greatest feeling a person can feel after suffering from the hands of their abuser , days seem to look so much brighter , the sun feels even warmer and you start to rediscover the person who you used to once be .
Why not try looking up to the nightsky and make a really good wish on the first star you see !!!
