Friday, July 21, 2023

We all stand together.


Domestic abuse can only ever really be truly understood by those that have lived through it.....

 Escaping it isn't always easy but with support from others yes it can be done , just as there are hundreds out there living through the abusive nightmare right now there are equally hundreds who have survived it . Survivors know and understand about domestic abuse more than anyone else ever can , we have had our more than fair share of verbal , financial , emotional and physical abuse and some of us like myself share our stories to help others .
  Supporting fellow abuse victims is a subject very close to my heart ( in case its not be noticed yet ) and its one of my many reasons to keep writting after I first tried putting my story down somewhere  .
 I am one of the lucky ones who managed to get out and survive it but there's even more out there who haven't and today I'm asking anyone who may read this ( and I know someone is somewhere ) to hold their hands up high and say  " Domestic abuse is wrong !!   I want to help too ". 
  Those still going through their abuse need those that have survived it to show that there really can be a better tomorrow and the bruises both inside and out will slowly fade and heal over time .  

 Abusers are positively vile horrendous individuals ( feel welcome to add your own swear word in here ) , they can be violent , they can  destroy a person's inner self belief ,  they can think they have the right to rape someone , they can lead someone to take their own life in dispare and in severe cases they can even end another persons life . 
Yes it might all sound at a bit dramatic but it's all true and a reality , it does and can happen to anyone .
 I've heard about some abusers using the mental heath card to their own advantage or even try using the victim card , some get found out and some just slip through the net and get away with it all . That's just how good they are at acting the innocent party and you will never really know who an abuser is unless your involved in it or trusted with the information .
There is a thing in England called Claires Law which basically means a person can check out another person to see if they have a police record for violence , this is a fantastic idea but I personally think its not just the possible new boyfriend/girlfriend that should be checked out  , I think all parties involved should get it done too so that both sides know exactly where they stand and it could protect a possible new victim especially if the abuser is hiding behind playing the innocent party . 
 I know of one case where the abuser plays the victim card and their possible new partners all have to get checked out everytime whilst they are free to keep doing what they do and get away with it everytime because they say it was all done in self defence  ...... shocking isn't it . 

  Let's be 100% honest here abusers are nothing but total nasty evil disgusting bullies , who or what gives them the right to do what they do to other people ? Do they really believe someone actually asks for what they do ? 
  Male,  female,  gay or straight they all seem to think it's a perfectly fine thing to do if life isnt going the way they want it to then it's OK  to turn into an adult sized spoilt 2yr old that can't get its own way . We've all seen those type of children and with parental supervision they learn to control their actions ,  but what can you do when it comes in an adult form ?

I'm now asking others to reach out and join in with me by showing support to those that may need it .

    Abused or not it doesn't really matter because my point is that together we can all in our own way show abuse victims there are really genuine nice people out there that listern , care and they can be trusted  .  
 When your being abused it can be a seriously dark and lonely place to be so why not help me to be there for other's . 

 My Email is at the bottom of my profile ( all scammers will not so politely be told where to shove their email if they dare try to send anything ) and I will answer as soon as I possibly can  .  Its just me , a hard working domestic abuse survivor and I give my word anything spoken about will be 100% totally confidential . 
  If your one of the ones who have read some , any or all of my stuff then please follow me or make a comment good or bad between us all we can make a major difference . 
Together we can help even if it's only in a small way,  I remember all too well how good it felt knowing there was someone out there when I needed it so let's be that safe special place for others . Knowing that I wasn't going complety insane and that I wasn't alone became my anchor whilst I was still drowning in my version of it .

   I've noticed that this can reach as far as the USA , Canada , France , Ireland , Germany and many other places so just imagine how many people we can reach out to and help between us all 🤔  

  Knowing that there are others out there to just be there can be the most valuable important thing to someone else so again I'm asking for all to be part of this fight back against domestic abuse . 
  Yes I know  its going to be a very long endless battle but I'll never stop fighting back against it after spending far too many years being involved in my own personal episode of it . All I ask is for others to show their support and to be there .

   We need to show all the abusers of this world that we are tougher and stronger than we look , we are not afraid of them and we will not accept their outrageous childish behaviour anymore . 

 Let's all  help put a stop to domestic abuse !!!!!





Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Negative emotions .


Those that decide to abuse others seem to be endlessly over- flowing with negativity.....

 Abuser's , narcissists or bullies ( pretty much one and the same thing really 🤔 ) they all don't seem to have the ability to have any positive emotions or feelings , everything in their tiny little world seems to be full of hate , anger , jealousy or just plain simple poisonous venom . 
Everything they seem to do in life has to be full of nasty comments , spitefulness , general hatred or even violence and it's yet another thing I've never worked out the answer to ( if anyone has any idea please feel free to make a comment ) .

   Controlling other people's lives seems to be their favourite occupation , they hate it if anyone else appears to be having all the fun or actually enjoying themselfs so they make it their mission in life to try to put a stop to all that silly stuff and nonsense .  In their blinkered little minds it's just others trying to show off and trying to be the centre of attention and they think all that ridiculous fun needs to be stopped as soon as possible . If they can't stop it happening at the time they will certainly save it all up and let everything erupt as soon as your back behind closed doors where noone else can see .

   Hating anything or anyone that might have some effect in their little universe is something their really good at , it can be a person , an animal , a random object , a shop or even just a program on the T.V ( or in my case the wrong football team winning the match )  , it all goes on their list of most hated things and it all becomes your fault . 
If your one of the lucky ones like myself who have managed to escape from an abuser then you suddenly jump straight to the top of their list of things that need to be despised . Personally I think I'm so high up on  my exs list of hated things that I don't think I'll ever need to worry about being overtaken by anything , In fact if your unlucky enough to ever meet said ex and ask I'd most likely be compared to something highly unpleasant that had just been trodden in .

   Jealousy is another negative emotion abusers are really good at , anything that might makes them feel neglected or threatened in any way can switch on their jealousy button .  It can be anything from someone simply just asking you what the time is in a shop to giving too much attention to your own children and its the ultimate crime if an unknown member of the opposite sex dares speak to you and you answer them in return . I once even had to break the news to my ex that no the nice young man serving me in the shop wasn't really flirting with me it's called good customer service and they do it to everyone else they serve !
  Their own personal insecurities shouldn't be shared with others , if they have issues stemming from their younger years or learnt behavour from parents or friends there's really no need to take it out on those that they are supposed care about . 
  Trying to control everything and anything someone else does isn't going to change a thing , all it is going to do however is create even more negative energy than there was before and make life even more unpleasant to those concerned , so what's the point ?

   As you've probably gathered by now I'm one of those really annoying optimistic positive thinking people , I like to share that good happy feeling around with others because that one small smile you give someone today might be the only one they get . I'm not and never will be a negative hate the world kind of person . I've seen and delt with an ugly , jealous ,  hate filled person and to my knowledge that same person is still just as bad as they always used to be . It's their choice on how negative and full of hatred or jealousy they want to be in their life but my world is now a much bigger  , brighter and better place without them being in it .
  I now make my own free choices ( granted not always the wisest ones ) and if I make a few mistakes along the way then again it's my choice . I won't ever blame anyone else for my own actions like an abuser can do , I will ever force someone else to do something they don't want to do and most importantantly I will never take any aggression out on anyone else . 
  Abusers will do or say anything that causes pain to someone else , they don't seem to have any empathy , compassion or consideration for others , there is only one person who is right in the centre of their world and that's themselves and they don't appreciate anyone or anything getting in their way .

The above makes really good sense to me  , it's a complete and utter waste of time and energy trying to win with an abuser whilst your still with them , all they will do is continually move the goal posts . Just when you think your getting there they change their rules or upgrade them to another even higher level . 
   It's after you gain your freedom that you realise just how much you've lost in yourself and its then that you let good old Karma do its thing . Abusers will never change even if they say differently , they will take their nasty little habits with them where ever they go and try to use them on someone else . One day they will try to do it on the wrong not so easy to control person and that person might just not be as kind as you may be  .



Risk Factor.

  Domestic abuse happens and thats a fact !!.... but what isn't a fact is that it doest matter if you manage to escape it or not. the ri...