Saturday, December 2, 2023

December Time .


Emotional domestic abuse can be totally soul destroying , it can drain away every single drop of someone's normal logical thinking.


   As I've mentioned in almost every post I was emotionally and mentally domestically abused for 28 ridiculously long years and almost to the point where I had forgotten who I really was . 

  This time of year was always hardest to deal with , it was all done almost robotically with added dread of what the Christmas break could be like . At one point I even lost my Christmas mojo 😳 !!!! , there was no real interest or eagerness to buy presents ( always limited funds ) , no christmas jingle and the only thing that kept me going was the simple fact I had young children at the time and so I'd remind myself Christmas was for them and I was just being selfish  . 

 Christmas eve was spent madley wrapping up the last few things,  making sure the stockings were placed by the tree , mince pie , a carrot and a glass of milk for Mr Claus ( wasn't going to encourage him to drink and drive ) and then when the children had been in bed long enough I would stand outside just below their bedroom windows shaking some jingle bells so they could hear he was close by . Then next came smuggling the presents downstairs, which could go one of two ways , either it could all go relatively smoothly or random cardboard boxes and whatever else was at hand should get thrown on the floor in a hissy fit because yet again I was completely ruining Christmas for everyone (  apprently I managed to do that somewhere along the line every year πŸŽ„ ) . 

Christmas morning and the children were not allowed to get up at silly o'clock all excited to open everything up because they had to wait till their father decided to get up and get dressed and then they could ( sometimes they even had to wait for him to have breakfast first ) .  My morning normally involved picking up random bits of wrapping paper that had missed the rubbish bags lovingly handed round at the begining by their father and then maybe if I was really lucky I'd get my first morning cup of tea about midday . Once all the excitement had gone then came my job of preparing the Christmas dinner ( never good enough of course ) then when all was eaten I'd be the lucky one to clear the table , wash up and then put everything away ( pretty much like every day back then really πŸ€” ) .

  I'd sometimes get to grab maybe a couple of hours to myself and I'd either just tidy up , find homes for presents I'd been given or enjoy a bath without any interruptions ( maybe for as long as ten whole minutes !! ) . I then had to face the rest of the holidays where dodging any possible arguments or temper tantrums aimed in my direction became the fun christmas holiday game .

My Christmas spirit was evaporating faster and faster each and every year and I'd forgotton the point behind it  . 


Good News !!!!..............🍾🍷🍸

My lost Christmas mojo has now returned and even though my children aren't so young anymore I now make up for lost time . Christmas eve is now seen in by sharing drinks with good friends at the local pub and my now adult children can get up whenever they want (although. they still wait for me even though they don't have to anymore ) , Christmas dinner has become a fun time with glasses of wine and terrible Christmas cracker jokes and then my good friend the dish washer gets to do his job........Happy Holidays !!! 

 As I writing all this I'm smiling because I now fully appricates what I have now and I'm grateful I've got the chance to enjoy this coming Christmas and all the others yet to come . The Christmas music is due to excape from Alexa and the where to hide the presents for others game is in full motion .

  πŸŽ„  Christmas is all about family and sharing the all important love to all , its about laughter, joy and happiness. Whether you go the what ever your religious route may be , the non religious route or you don't celebrate it at all then at least let's still all join together and just for that one day have peace on earth .

There are and will be some people either homeless or on their own this year they deserve a thought and if you pass someone sheltering in their sleeping bag trying to keep warm why not dimply just offer to buy them a tea/coffee or even a sandwich ( sometimes a better option than just handing over your loose change ). It doesn't matter how they unfortunately found themselves to be where they are but what does matter is that they are human beings too .

 This Christmas why not spare a thought for those that are elderly that live near you ,  they maybe lonely or not have any family living close by , check up on them and maybe consider either inviting them to Christmas dinner or even making up an extra plate to take to them .

None of the above is really rocket science and I now try look out for someone I know who may be on their own and then ask if they'd like to join us . Why do I bother ?.........

 Well that's a really easy one to answer and it's because I can now . . I once had a friend come to Christmas dinner one year and they ended up staying for a couple of years till they got themselves sorted out , no big deal because I know that friend would have done exactly the same for me if ever I needed it to .

   I once read a fictional short story many years ago that sort of sums up exactly what I mean  ( sorry I can't remember the author to give credit to and it was read over 30 yrs ago ) Its about a woman who for some reason or other had lost her joy of Christmas , she sat in a cafe with a coffee watching the hustle and bustle of people being busy Christmas present shopping and just not feeling the happiness . Suddenly and most unexpectedly a gentleman sat down near her and asked why she looked so sad and lonely ? her answer was that she just simply didn't feel Christmasy and was wondering if it was all worth while . The gentleman suggested they take a walk through the park to continue their conversation , as they walked they saw families having fun and laughing , they talked about themselfs and their home life and then when it was time to leave the gentleman asked if she felt any better about things , she said yes with a thankful smile . The gentleman then bent down and gave her a brief quick kiss on the cheek and said " Merry Christmas.....Pass it on " and then he left . 

 The woman never forgot that chance meeting . 



Risk Factor.

  Domestic abuse happens and thats a fact !!.... but what isn't a fact is that it doest matter if you manage to escape it or not. the ri...