Domestic abuse can be the darkest period of anyone's life, and as a victim/survivor of it, I now fully appreciate every single new glorious day I'm given .....
Today is the Winter Solstice, and as I'm waking up on the shortest day of the year and looking out the window, I can see the morning just about to begin . The clouds may have that December grey colour but it's not raining and it's going to be a fun filled day of Christmas present swapping with family and a long awaited night out at the pub just up the road with some good friends .
Personally I see today as a positive ( actually thinking about it I see most days as a positive ) , it may be the shortest day oof the year with very little day light but the old distant hippie in me sees it as a promising sign that things from now will only improve and the days will only get longer and a whole lot brighter .
I'm looking forward to the early morning dawn chorus sung by Mr. Blackbird that lives in the tree in my front garden ( his always the first and last to sing ) , the spring bulbs in that I planted in my garden last Autumn to start to emerge and of course those long calm and warm relaxing days of summer sitting around a lakeside going fishing to begin once again .
Simplistic stuff maybe, but it's all positive, happy thoughts and it's a whole lot better than my life used to be like a few years ago.
Domestic abuse to some isn't the most interesting or fascinating subject and no it's not the most gripping of stories but its something that needs to spoken about and yes I know I repeat myself a lot when I write about it but thats the whole point......eventually people will have to sit up and listern or read .
It's not a subject matter that can be easily just swept under the carpet in the vain hope that no one can see it , it's out there happening right now to someone .
Would you know or recognise it was going on close by to you or to a family member ?.....
Proberly not no , and that's because you either haven't lived through it to be able to see the signs or you choose not to see it ( and it can be hidden exceptionally well ) .
My own family didn't have a clue about exactly what was going on when I had 28yrs of it and they still don't know lots of it even now .
They picked up that my now ex was a little anti-social at times, but they never discovered what went on behind closed doors . They to this day have no idea I once had thoughts about jumping off a very high bridge or about those days that I knew if I had started to walk I might not of stopped.
That's how well those that are domestically abused can camouflage what's going on in their lives .
It's one if those things that someone will only ever truly understand and notice if they have been there themselves at some point .
Domestic abuse comes in loads of various differant highly unpleasant forms and can happen to absolutly anyone , it's not something that can be ever prettied up or turned into something that it isn't, it's just what it is and that's nothing but pure ugly. I could go on and on about all the various outstanding groups that can be contacted for help or glam the subject matter up like a Hollywood movie but I won't because then it doesn't deserve to be turned into that . If I went into graphic detail on how horrendous some forms of it can be like then I'd be instantly blocked or banned from all the places I post on due to how offensive it could all be found to be . The whole subject about domestic abuse is the equivalent of the biggest elephant in the room , noone wants to see it or discuss it openly but im not afraid to do it !!!!
Now I know I'm just a random everyday somebody who writes all these rambling often misspelt words but it's people like me who have been there , seen it and survived it that know more about it than anyone with all the qualifications , we know how the darkness of it all can feel , we know although you may be surrounded by other people you can still feel all too lonely and we know better than anyone that amazing feeling that freedom can bring .
My first plans when I started all of this was to put some of those crazy thoughts and memories down somewhere to help un- clog my poor fogged up brain and I've just kept on going with it and it's helped enormously in showing to me how many of us have had to tolerate being domestically abused and how few want to tackle how raw a subject it can all be .
Domestic abuse should be as I once already said be brought up in Secondary schools ( or the equivalent in other countries) as a discussion point , it should be shown to be a subject that should never be hidden or kept in the dark . In many many years time there might just be a vaque chance that those selfish massively overgrown temper tantrum throwing three year olds might just get the hint that their behavour is totally unacceptable and no one will tolerate it ( intill then I'll just keep on shouting about it ) .
If your about to or are experiencing your own version of a domestic abusive soltice and your slowly waking up to longer brighter days then make sure you get that all important help and advice from where ever you can find it , there's some seriously brilliant groups out there who can help and support you . Don't put up with those dark dismal days anymore and just enjoy what ever it is that is held in your beautiful bright future .
