Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Fate or Destiny ?


Fate or destiny ? is the question , personally I kind of believe its a little bit of both ......

Without question if I hadn't of lived through my 28yrs exodus of domestic abuse I would certainly not be where I am today so maybe I had to live  my past in order to live and appricate what I now have in my future 🤔. 

 Maybe thats a bit controversial but I'm actually beginning to think it maybe just maybe there's something in it ( or maybe its just the old Hippy in me sneaking out again  ) .

 Granted I think I might of preferred a better alternative way to get to where I am now  but it's certainly taught me some seriously good life lessons . It's most deffinatly without question made me mentally stronger and wiser .

 Was it fate that lead me to that first meeting with my now domestically abusive ex ?.... 

I don't know but what I do know is that without that one night I would not now have my three children . Yes I could have met someone else and had children with them but obviously my life was meant to go in the direction it took . It's taken me a bit of a while to see it but I most positively think that without that meeting I wouldn't now be writting this ( writting always being something of a bit of a childhood day dream ) .

  Maybe it would have been quite nice if fate hadn't taken quite so long to get where ever it was leading me but at least its given me an easier ride than others in a similar position .

What lessons have I learnt ?...

  The first one has to be to never to fall for a heart breaking sob story straight away . If in any doubt of someone I now do a little bit of  detective work on them , nothing major and no stalking just a matter of asking around to see what others might think . I'm a bit more guarded on giving my trust out to people now but once they get it then they gain it for life .

Next lesson is that if anyone dares to try to even think they can control anything to do with any aspects of my life , they can just keep on walking ( and when they get there they can just keep on going ) . I may make a few mistakes along the way in my life but that's exactly how I learn and any mistakes made will only happen the once .  In a weird way everything I now have in my life maybe I should owe to my now ex because without my experience with him I wouldn't be the person I am now ( or do I thank fate and destiny ?... ) .


My Destiny is to a point still unknown but I dont care because I now have every faith that where ever it intends to take me I know it's going to be a journey worth taking ,  Fate brought various people into my life and destiny gets to  decides which direction it all goes in . So far Its successfully managed to help relocate lost friends and it seems to be doing a pretty good job so far in the directions it takes me . I've learnt to not worry or panic in whatever comes my way but instead face it head on and just deal with it .

My domestic abuse story and it's recovery was my fate and now some of my destiny I'd like to think is to reach out and share it with others , I'm under no illusion domestic abuse will never end in my lifetime but if I've managed to help change just one person's life then the life fate handed out to me would have been all worth while . 

  Sharing that part of my life with whoever might come across it and read it means that the ridiculously sized elephant in the room called domestic abuse is out there in the open and if I can survive it so can anyone else . Thanks to fate or destiny or what ever you want to call it my life has certainly has a massive upgrade , I'm having a ball making up for all those lost years , I refuse flatly to act my age and now fully intend to grow old completely and utterly disgracefully .

   I've gained tattoos and several ear piercings because I wanted to and most importantly because I can , I now wear whatever I want , when I want to where ever I want and if I suddenly fancy a really good girls night out then all I have to do is send a couple of messages .  If I want to spend my day waking up at silly o'clock to just sit by a lake fishing all day then happy days and if I want to jump in a river with all my clothes on then I bloody well will ( maybe not in winter though 🤔 ) .

  Oh yes , I'm becoming a fast believer in fate and destiny because without it my life could be totally different . I'd like to think everything happens for a really good reason and it's up to the individual to find that reason ( sometimes not always easy ) , writting these posts has given me the opportunity to express all my inner thoughts and feelings and maybe it was destiny's help that encouraged me to first start it in order to help make sense of my past and maybe that same destiny has other plans for it who knows .

  This domestic abuse survivor is looking forward to the future and what ever it may bring with it , from now on I shall be holding my head up high and looking ahead for the unexpected interesting future that Fate or destiny have in store for me next . 

Risk Factor.

  Domestic abuse happens and thats a fact !!.... but what isn't a fact is that it doest matter if you manage to escape it or not. the ri...