Mystoryofdomesticabuse.de

Monday, June 26, 2023

Money , money , money.

 

  

 Money , we all want it , most work hard for it but sometimes just sometimes your not allowed to keep it ......

Living with a narcissist can be like living with your own private and personal Mr Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol . 
What's yours is theirs but what's theirs is their own , they don't seem to have the ability to know how to give or to share they just only seen to know how to keep eveything ( even if they don't really want it ) .
 Now back to Mr Scrooge.... he was once a very greedy , sad and I think lonely man and getting more was never quite enough for him , he didn't care that others were going without or suffering , he didn't care about anyone else but his own self , but then late one Christmas eve he got lucky and he had a second chance given to him by his 3 very special visitors who each taught him various valuable life lessons .
When he woke up on Christmas morning he then begun to try to change his ways for the better and he started to give as well as to recieve . 

  

   
   I remember all to well not having any control over any money that came in or out , for a lot of years . I wasn't allowed to have a job let alone my own bank account . I made do with a tiny amount given in the form of Child Benifits payments ( even that took a lot of arguments to be able to keep ) . I was told on a regular basis that we were really poor and hadn't got enough money but strangly enough nice new computers , PlayStations , cars and even bigger than before televisions would suddenly appear as if by magic ( all things brought and apparently very much needed by my ex of course ) .

  Domestic abusers or Narcissists love nothing more than to control all things and money is just one of the many ways they try to do it  , they will use it to take advantage of someone or as emotional blackmail their not bothered just as long as it gets the end result that they are after .

They all seem to love watching others beg , plead or even grovel even if it's only for just a couple of pound thats needed , they will give that look of " consider yourself extremely lucky  " as they hand it over reluctantly and then remind you a few days later you still owe them for that bottle of milk or loaf of bread you brought the other day in order so you could make them their coffee or toast 🤔 .
  
      
      


Nowadays I'm in reasonably good control of my own funds , nobody tells me what I can and can't do with it ( apart from the bank obviously ) and if I decide I want to waste my own well earnt money and buy a lovely pair of high heeled  black leather thigh high boots and a bright pink Tutu to wear then I bloody well will !!!!!

I now count myself extremly lucky I don't and never have had expensive taste , I appreciate everything no matter how small it might be that I have in my life , personally I don't think domestic abusers or narcissists have the same thinking or ability, they see it and they just want it regardless of what it takes to get it and then when they do finally get it and the novelty wears off they don't want it anymore and then want something else instead  .... Crazy isn't it but that's the kind of world they live in . 

 Its another really excellent reason why I had to end my 28yr  bad existence of domestic abuse a few years ago along with numerous other reasons , and If I can totally supprise myself and take back my own slightly warped quite often scatty life then so can anyone else . 
 I'm no longer like the character Bob Cratchit in someone elses Christmas Carol and I've sent my now ex version of Ebenezer Scrooge  to go and live in someone elses story (apologies to who ever has to tolerate him next ) . 

I think it's going to take a lot more than three slightly spooky ghosts to change his warped and twisted ways ( his still doing his controling to others thing and still blaming everyone else ) , 
 I'm now writting my story of domestic abuse for all to read and I get to decide how it continues and how it ends , those that read it can decide who the villain is and who the hero could be because it all depends on how you look at things . 

Life is all about making up your own mind about things and that's exactly the same opportunity I'm giving anyone who decide to read any of my posts . 
 I don't want anyone's pity let alone get any 
sympathy but what I do want is the understanding that domestic abuse can happen to absolutly anyone and if you think it could be happening to someone you know then just be ready to be there when they really need it .

I still don't have an awful lot of money to my name but at least what I do have now is all my own , I now no longer have to feel like I'm being held to ransom if I ask to borrow anything and no longer am I being pressured and intimidated into having sex just because I couldn't pay back the money I asked for in order to but the bread to make his stupid sandwich . 

  
Now I'm living my own story and my days I've decided should  always end with a golden sunset  !!
( photo used below from my own collection ) .





   
       
     


   

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