Saturday, February 3, 2024

Fairytales and make believe .


Just like all good classic Fairytales and childhood stories, domestic abuse has their own unique forms of big bad mean nasty villains........

There is a beautiful story by Hans Christian Anderson called The Snow Queen and if you've never had the joy of reading it then I fully suggest you do . 

   There's an bad little troll who decides to make a magical mirror and this mirror somehow can only show in its reflections all the bad and ugly it sees ( basically it's only reflecting the negative and never the positive) . The troll decides his mirror needs to be shared around so its taken to many differant places . Its whilst it's on its travels that it gets dropped sending thousands of tiny pieces of itself everywhere , if you were unfortunate enough to  get a piece attached to yourself then you would become just like the original mirror.  Now I've just explained the very basics to the fairytale, but what if all the domestic abusers of this world are the fault of that one mirror ?.... 🤔

O.K ,  maybe that's an extremely weak and feeble excuse for their actions but wouldn't it be amazing if just like in the story love and kindness conquered over evil and everything ended happily ever after ?....

 An extremly large case of wishful thinking I know, but what that little tale does show is that being strongly positive can be the toughest weapon anyone can have and that you should never give up .

   February has just begun here in England and if you listern really carefully the birds are just begining to show off on the morning with their singing , on a really good day you can even feel a little bit of warmth from the sun on your face and Spring plants are slowly starting to stretch their way up out of the soil  . Waking up each and every day now is full of surprises and it never ceases to amaze me that good old Mother Nature can still produce her magic no matter how dark and gloomy things once were .

  Domestic abuse is like living through the toughest bleakest coldest winter imaginable , every single day can be overtaken with the most darkest unforgiving clouds and you begin to forget how bright things used to be . It's the equivalent of that spiteful ugly mirror in that fairytale story , it contains only the bad bitter evil things and only seems to reflect nothing but total negativity . Those evil sharp shards of mirror will try to do their very best to attack all your positivity and turn it into even more unneeded and unwanted morbid doom and gloom .   

  Carrying the overbearing heavy burden of domestic abuse can become soul destroying and heart breaking . How to beat the feelings of oppressive heavy  dark clouds or over power those painful pieces of mirror is an individual thing but yes of course it can be done ( I certainly wouldn't be writting any of these posts if it couldn't be ) . 

It's all about reclaiming what was once yours and by that I mean your all too valuable life .  Just like those very early first signs of growth from hibernating plants , it's the waking up and reaching out that starts all the getting stronger stuff  .

Positivity can be a highly powerful thing and anyone can use it when things all seems low .  It's not about the rain in life but the beautiful rainbow that you may get from it that really counts .  Thinking optimistic positive thoughts can be done absolutely anywhere at anytime and the bonus is it doesn't cost anything to do !!

 As I'm looking out of my window today and enjoying my first morning cup of tea I can see there's a possible chance the sun might break through the clouds so I fully intend to take that as my first positive sign of the day and go out and start the Spring clear up in the garden so those first emerging stalks of fresh life can have some space to grow .

   Domestic abuse survivors are just like those plants in my garden , first comes the waking up from dark abusive nightmare and then the reaching out for the sunlight begins . Each and every day of that new found freedom makes the survivor stronger , and its that positive strength that keeps you going forward . Once you get your freedom and the growth begins the rest of your life will be under only one person's control and that one single person will be you !!  Don't ever stop believing you can't do something before you even try it , life can actually be quite good fun and my advice will always be why not give it a go .

    Try turning those odd random negative thoughts into positive ones , it was never you that had one of those rough and sharp pieces  of mirror from the story at the beginning of this post stuck on you  , it was your abuser and they can continue on their path of destructive behaviour without you .   Personally I know my now abusive ex is still doing his thing somewhere out there to someone else but as long as it doesn't envolve me I don't care , my life now is a massive major improvement and anyone else that's either gone through the giant domestic abusive cement mixer or are still going around inside of it just never forget that it's your life and your future so if you don't like the road it's taking then why not just simply pick a new one to travel on instead . 

   On my travels along my positive road in life I like to scatter my positivity all around just like the wild flower seeds in my garden , it doesn't matter where they all go just as long as it grows and then self- seeds all around  and I'm sharing some around today to whoever may read it . 

If you find some positivity today why not pass it on just like those seeds  ?........
















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