Saturday, January 27, 2024

Mission Not-so impossible.



After my over extended period of emotional and mental domestic abuse I'm now a firm believer that nothing is impossible....

 I've already written about how it all began and fragments of events in previous posts so I won't bore everyone with repeating myself ( I do far too much of that sort of thing as it is ) , but the part that I will go over yet again is the breaking away from it .
 Domestic abuse in any of its various forms can feel like all the time you're living through it impossible to escape from , when the relationship first started everything seemed perfectly normal but gradually over time the person who you first thought was your perfect Mr/Mrs wonderful turns out to be the equivalent of Frankinstiens monster and the beautiful red roses loving sent with hearts and kisses turn out to have evil nasty sharp thorns attached .

  One day you start to notice that maybe just maybe things aren't quite what they should be . You look around and start to notice that other couples don't appear to have a master controller, but instead they both work as a team . You then start becoming more observant about how other couples treat each other and the respect they give . 
  All this starts the begining of that moment where you wake up one day and realise that the life your living isn't a normal one . It can happen instantly or slowly like a leaky waterpipe but it's that final waking up of " I can't do this s£%t anymore " moment that can start the whole great escape .  

  The totally mixed up feelings of knowing what you have to do are always edged with a little bit of fear but that's only because you find yourself doubting your own actions and because you've successfully been brain washed into believing you only have one half functioning brain cell . That fear of the unknown will get used by the abuser to try to keep you where they think you should belong but that's only their own personal insecurities going into overdrive  .
  Once that seed of reality gets planted deep inside and it starts to grow the more stronger you will become and you start to rediscover that actually your a pretty bloody brilliant kind of person really . 

   I remember well that feeling of when the overwhelming weight of domestic abuse began to lift away and that feeling of final freedom is something I will never forget .
  Yes , there will be a very good chance that your captor may not like your actions but don't ever let that stop you being a free person , they will try everything from tears to anger to try to keep you where they want you to be but if your lucky and find your door of your abusive cage wide open then I suggest you keep on going through it before it snaps back shut again , trapping you back in for possibly endless years to come .

   Freedom..... it's what ever you want yours to be , once you reclaim your life back its then entirely up to you which direction you decide to travel . Ask for help from which ever groups are out there in whatvever country you may be in . Be fully prepared to be honest and open ( even if it means breaking down in front of complete strangers) , the people out there who can and will help are full of advice and guidance so why not use it .

   Scary maybe at the very begining but WOW !! it's the greatest journey an abused victim can ever take , it's a thing that only a survivor could really fully understand, I think . You start to notice all the silly little almost completely forgotten about things in life like how peaceful things can become without having to constantly watch your own back and being able to dress in what ever clothes you want or deciding randomly that you fancy a nice stroll around the local park just because you can and you know there's no one clock watching you ( or ringing to say " where the hell are you " as in my case ) .

  Freedom from domestic abuse is absolutely outstanding and that's exactly why I'm now doing what I'm doing by reaching out and supporting others , maybe I should as I've said before thank my now ex abuser because without the abuse given none of you wouldn't be reading any of this 🤔 .
 I'm here as living proof there is and can be life after domestic abuse and that yes escaping from it can be done if you really want it . It's well worth all the hassle and various phone calls made , late night cups of tea wondering what the hell to do next and the " OMG !..what the hell have I just done " moments . 

  Remember the childhood story written by Hans Christian Anderson about the ugly duckling and how it was once laughed at by others ? ....

  Well , why not be just like that Swan in the story and show everyone  just what an amazing brilliant beautiful person had been hidden away under the all too dark stormy clouds of domestic abuse . Why not take back the control of your own life , spread those perfect wings and then just take flight !!

  Seriously if you've not been one of the lucky ones like myself and many others then I fully suggest it as a consideration , life can be a tough enough battle sometimes without having to carry the burden of domestic abuse along with it . All those various groups and social media sites out there will act as the prefect safety net ready to catch you if you think your going to fall and they certainly wont ever judge or critize any mistakes made along the way .

  Why not make it your mission not- so -impossible to break away from what ever it may be that you feel is holding you back in life !!!!!!!!










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