Thursday, January 18, 2024

Interesting or not 🤔


Domestic abuse , interesting subject or not that is the question ? .....

 Today, I had one of those conversations where you had to use every single grain of patience a person can produce . 
 The other person involved should have considered themselves extremely lucky to have gotten off so lightly because I'm not so convinced another fellow abuse survivor would have been nearly as polite as I was about it and having been brought up to always have good manners this person should have been grateful that I didn't use the extended dictionary of swear words that I know .

 What annoyed this normally passive mild-mannered positive thinker I hear you ask ? .....

  It was this comment " I don't believe in domestic abuse. It's just people arguing.".
  Now, this one realitive, ignorant, and harmless opinion was then promptly followed up with " if someone hits you, then you've probably deserved it anyway ." Now that really pushed the button for me so having taken a massive deep big breath to help calm myself down they were then kindly informed that this particular survivor had spent 28 despicable years having every move and breath taken controlled by someone else , arguments were only ever one sided ( not my side of course ) and that maybe just maybe before they open their mouths to speak next time about a subject they obviously know nothing about then perhaps they should visit the local library to do a bit of research to educate themselves first .
 Now what shocked this person first was the fact that even though I had sort of known them for a couple of years, they had no idea about that particular part of my life .

  Once the first initial shock had worn off , the conversation continued and a few questions were asked . I answered everything with my normal honesty I always use and as this person went to walk off their last comment was " it's more interesting than you think it is isn't it ".
  That's exactly why I now choose to post stuff on here and in various other places . People who have never had to deal with it have no idea at all just how grim and misunderstood the whole thing is . It's not the world's most fascinating or intriguing subject but domestic abuse happens and that conversation I had prove's just how little others know about it .

 Here's a few random facts about it  .......

  2 women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales.

Women who experience domestic abuse
 are twice as likely to suffer from depression . 

40% of women who are made homeless state domestic abuse as being the cause of it .

It's estimated that 3 women a week die due to suicide caused by domestic abuse. 

18 men died due to the hands of their partner compared to 60 for a woman.

Is all the above interesting enough now ?...

Domestic abuse is never going to be the most intellectual subject to raise in a conversation , but maybe it should be . I'm fairly open about my past experiences and to be honest as I can as I've always said it's the biggest and most ugliest elephant in the room and yet some people still decide to ignore it in the silly vain hope that maybe it will all just  go away .
Guess what ? ....... it's never going to happen so why not open your eyes and see it for what it is .

  It's like I've said before in previous posts that no one knows better about domestic abuse than someone who has been there and has seen it . Unfortunately it looks like its down to myself and fellow survivors to help inform others and that includes all the nasty unpleasant parts of it . ignoring it or not wanting to deal with it isn't the right answer so I will continue on my path trying to raise the subject and sprinkle a little positivity on top whilst I'm at it .

 I know that people are looking and reading my posts which gives me the encouragement to keep on going with it all and I thank you for it .
  I could write down all the variouse and many help lines and groups in everyone's individual countries but I think I'd be there for ever and it still wouldn't make it a great conversion starter over a coffee with friends . If you ever decide to look the subject of domestic abuse up then you will see people like me or more random shocking figures and details that could out do any horror movie . I could include graphic details of fellow victims murders but then I think I would be removed and blocked from everywhere .

 For the time being at least domestic abuse will remain as it is , it will only become an interesting subject matter when things start to improve and people actually start to listern instead of trying to sweep it under the carpet like it never existed. Theres a good it's happening right now to someone out there somewhere and all of those that want to ignore it should maybe pay a visit to a refuge that try to help repair some of the damage caused because of it  . 
 Domestic abuse has been going on since caveman times and yet nothing has progressed forward that far when it comes to talking about it , you will be amazed at just how many people male or female are effected by it yet no one talks about it ... unbelievable isn't it .

  So I will just keep on in my belief that something might eventually change and I'll keep on going shouting about it in as many differant directions as I possibly can , would I be prepared to stand up in front of a load of unknown people to discuss it ?.....

       Too damn right I would !!!!!

 I won't ever let my story of domestic abuse and its recovery stop from getting out there and showing others that it can be survived and beaten  ..... this domestic abuse survivor isn't going anywhere  !!!!!!


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Have no regrets.

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