Male Domestic Abuse.

Search for domestic abuse online and what do you get ? You'll find some great advice and amazing helpful groups to ring and loads of information for women ......

  But what about the guys out there dont they need help too ?  Why don't they get the same sort of support as the women ?...

 Granted yes it is out there but it's not always that easy to find and unfortunately it's not so easy for them to talk about it . 

Isn't male abuse exactly the same as female abuse ?......

Unfortunately not in all cases , the abuse may be  similar but the aftercare isn't always .

Male domestic abuse is an even bigger elephant in the room that female abuse and that's just not good enough . All abuse victims should be treated in exactly the same regardless of who you are . 

The group above called Mankind are based in England and I'm fairly sure other countries will have similar versions of their own ,  I know of the amazing work of this group because I've met some people that they have successfully helped .

 Surviving abuse is a tough enough road to travel on at the best of times but for the men out there it must be an even tougher journey .  

  The police certainly don't always want to take it as seriously and if there's children envolved in the relationship the mother still automatically gets to keep them even if it's her that was the abuser in the first place and with no questions asked ( wrong on so many variouse levels if you ask me ) . In order to win custody of any children involved has to endure many years of fighting , prove he can be a good hard working father , have a possible police check to make sure he has a clean police record and then have variouse questions given to him in order to prove he  can do the job proberly . 

 What checks or questions does the mother get ?......

Nothing . 

She is automatically awarded care of the children without having any tests or checks even if she is known to be the domestic abuser .

 Meanwhile the poor father is just left

having to just except it and see his children when and if its allowed , how can all that be fair to the father ?....

Your right it isn't fair and he will be wondering why the system is so one sided. 

If a domestic abusive relationship the police end it getting called who do you think they will question first ?.....

  Yes in the real life both parties should be treated equally but that isn't always the case plus it depends on just how good an actress the woman can be .

 If the police are called and the women declared she was physically attacked the  father would have been arrested almost straight away and put in a police cell ( fair enough ) but when he finally gets a chance to talk about his side do you honestly think he will be believed  ?......

Unfortunately I doubt it very much too .

Now turn it around , if the man had rung and said he'd been physically attacked by the woman would the woman be arrested straight away or would the police question it further before they do ( especially if there's a lack of evidence or witnesses)  , is this fair treatment ? ........ 

No not even close to it  !!!!!!

   This is something I personally feel really strongly about because men and women should have identical treatment , support and aftercare but in a lot of cases it doesn't happen . There's not nearly enough refuges for men and even then I know of examples of where the aftercare has been virtually non-existent  . 

Again this is not good enough !

   If you are male and are or have suffered from domestic abuse please just keep going , the few groups out there that can help you will do as much as they possibly can to support you . 

Everything I write is meant for all and yes of course it includes the boys out there , why would I exclude them ?  , they need exactly the same help as anyone else .  

The blog email that can be found in my profile is for all , male or female and I will exactly the same confidentiality to all , Its there in case anyone feels the need to reach out for support ( I may not have the answers but I will listern ) .

  

I once unfortunately had to leave a domestic abuse Facebook group because they made the ridiculous decision they were going to become ladies only , I asked why and their answer was simply because abusers were finding and contacting their victims through it........excuse me but shouldn't they have sorted out their privacy settings first rather than automatically assume all the abusers had to be male !!!!!

Yep as you've guessed I was totally and utterly gobsmacked with the answer and promptly left following them and I kindly informed them just how ridiculous their excuse was , I know there was a few gentlemen that were brave enough to use it so why on earth exclude them ? .....

This is a perfect example of how totally and completely unfair it is for any male that's being abused  and how disgusting it is to instantly blame them for what could be going on at home . Trying to find an image stating that abuse towards men needs to stop was virtually impossible ( which in itself is outrageous) so I decided there needed to be one and here it is , please feel free to share it , screenshot it and use it if needed ( it's made by me so full permission given to do as you like with it ) .

  

Wake up !!!! It doesn't matter if your male  female , gay , straight or even Alien domestic abuse is exactly the same thing and everyone should be treated the same way .

Everything I have ever posted on here , facebook , Instagram , Threads , X ( was Twitter ) and Quora are meant for all , I will never instantly condem or judge others .

Please find below the contact details for the English group Mankind . ( many apologies to other countries ) . They will listern and help and most importantly they will not automatically blame or accuse .