Perfect Peace .

 

Domestic abuse can be the most saddest and lonely place to be but it doesn't have to be forever.........

 Victims of domestic abuse can sometimes find themselves surrounded by many people on the outside world but behind their own front door at home they are all very much alone and that feeling all stems from just one person....the domestic abuser. 

Abuse normally as a rule only seems to happen when there's no-one else around to witness it ( yes it can happen in public but very rarely ) , the whole experience is normally strictly reserved for private viewing only .

Those that domestically abuse know exactly what their doing and the effects it can leave behind , there is no point in them doing everything they do for the whole world to see it because that would then mean that everyone would then see the real person that they are and not the perfect person they want to portray themselves to be  . 

They can very successfully manage to only create bruises where they can't be seen or if  one of them is too obvious to hide then they expect various excuses to be created to explain their existence and cover their appalling actions ( normally the victim will accused of being extremly accident prone) . 

  Narcissists , Abusers call them what you like they are all pretty much one and the same thing and they all do very similar things . They all seem to act like they have reverted back to being an extremly  differcult , spoilt , demanding little annoying 3 year old child that can have total major temper tantrums at any given opportunity because life is being extremly unfair to them and its not going their own way .  

 They will scream , shout , sulk and lash out verbally or physically over the most silliest and smallest of things untill in their minds they get what ever it was that they wanted . The craziest and weirdest bit is just when you think that peace has returned once again because you've given in to what ever it was they demanded they then decide to move the goal posts even further apart and they then want something else instead so everything just all starts again !

   I remember those days all too well , never knowing what the day could bring or what ever the next explosion moment could be about .  

You spend your days walking very carefully over extremly delicate fragile thin ice untill it becomes a sort of daily ritual and even then you can never really predict when that ice will begin to start cracking .

 The above is exactly what I did several years ago ,  one morning after waking up and having my customary first cup of tea of the day I had my very own personal version of a light bulb moment and I decided there was only two possible ways my then dismal sad little life could go on and I wasnt quiet ready to give up on living it just yet so I choose the second option of stopping , counting to ten and then starting all over again . 

 Oh wow !!  It certainly has to be one of my better decisions made in life !! 😊

  Life now is pretty much the way it should be , there's no one trying to rule my very existence and every single move I make . I now get to do whatever I want to do ( even if it doesn't always go the way it should ) .

 A good example is... yesterday's great random inplusive last minute decision was to spend the afternoon at the coast just doing all the normal classic seaside kind of stuff  ( as the photo's taken by myself and used on this particular post prove ) .

  So what if I've wasted a silly amount of money on those machines you put the coins in to win cheap plastic things from , so what if I collected yet another pebble to go with my large collection in the garden and so what if I enjoyed delicious good old English traditional fish and chips whilst sitting at the edge of the beach just watching the tide go in and out ....it was an absolutely perfect peaceful way to finish a great day 😊 .

 Escaping and breaking away from those that insist on abusing others isn't always easy but trust me it's all well worth it in the end if you feel brave and strong enough .  

   I'm under no doubt that if your being abused and your reading all or any of my rambling  posts you might be thinking to yourself " no way could I ever do something like that " then I'm sorry but you're wrong , yes of course you can do it and yes of course you can get the same sort of peaceful happy ever after that you so rightly deserve . 

There is only one person ultimately stopping you from taking that first all important first step forward to a new exciting chapter in your life and that's you !!! 

    Granted yes it can be a major seriously scary decision to make but it's what the end result can be that's the most important thing ..... and thats your freedom .

I will never be able to put into enough words just how totally phenomenal that feeling of freedom can be after you excape , you find yourself walking around with a perminate smile on your face for no apprent reason and other people notice your inner shine has returned to where it belongs .

   So today why not make it your mission ( if you choose to except it ) that if something or someone makes you feel sad , lonely or even annoyed......just stop !!....  Count to ten then start all over again .

            I did it and so can you !!! 😊