The Darknes .

 

Narcissists/ abusers are full of darkness and they insist on sharing it all around them ........

 Why ? I have absolutely no idea but their entire life is full to the brim with it and they never hesitate to share it all around , they have to be the most negative thinking group of people there are in this world .

 For some strange and very obscure reason the narcissist/abusers of this world all seem to enjoy all the negativity that they share , its a totally crazy way to a live a life but they all seem to really enjoy doing it .

Why ? .....

Well that's yet another question on the great list of unanswered questions to do with why they do what they do , we can only guess .

  

 The day might start with glorious sunshine to everyone else  but to them it just means yet another hot sweaty horrible day , there could be the sound of children somewhere just simply laughing and playing in a near by garden  but no in an abusers mind their just completly ruining the day by making an uncalled for annoying noise .

 Oppressive over powering darkness is something that seems to just ooze out of an abusers every single pore of their body , they thrive on it and seem to recharge themselfs with it . Is it learnt behavour from their parents ?....

  I don't know for sure but I think it was possibly the case for my now ex . 

  If you've been reading any of my crazy rambling words you would of properly worked out that I'm a extremly annoying optimistic thinking kind of person and thankfully my children have inherited my positive way of looking at life instead of their fathers ( again learnt behaviour possibly 🤔 ) , they don't feel the need to drain other people's lives with negativity or darkness .

Darkness from an abuser is like a smothering overbearing suffercating foggy sort of feeling , it is the most foulest place to be in when their in the wrong kind of mood  .  Every single day is the equivalent to the end of the world with some abusers and they seem to love nothing more than sharing that darkness around untill everyone else is drowning in it . I could understand it if they had lived through something intensely dramatic to possibly make them that way but no they just seem to be that way evey single day from the minute they wake up  . 

 Abusive people as I've said before seem to need to feel the whole world is against them and rarely just do happy because its fun and enjoyable , random inplusive last minute decisions are again rarely made because that in their minds could mean all sorts of pretentional hazardous possibilities for them to find themselves in ( meaning they might actually end up enjoying themselfs ) . If they stop and realise that they might be doing some thing that was just simply good fun , you know what the atmosphere at home will eventually be like because they will need to recharge their darkness by doing something negative .

 

I'm now thankfully away from the darkness that I once spent 28yrs living through , my life isnt always perfect and I still on a really bad day can feel that nasty depression trying to creep back in and cover me with its blanket of negativity but I've learnt over time to allow myself a brief moment with it instead of trying to battle against it and then when I think its had enough time to fester I just simply find something more positive to take its place ( even if it means I'm getting soaking wet and freezing cold just walking the dog ) . 

  My days are now spent enjoying each and every single moment because I totally refuse to waste anymore of my valuable years on this earth being controlled by a person that doesn't deserve my time or affection so there's no more being orded and covered by the overpowering darkness of someone else . My life is far too short and special to not be happy and enjoy simply just breathing and I fully intend to live it all my way . 

   The photos used at the begining and the very end of this were both taken by myself after having yet another one of those crazy unexpected random thoughts to pay a visit to the coast and it certainly was far too warm not to take advantage of the sea in the second picture . 

  Yes it all ended up being g a more than a slightly rather soggy expeence but skin's waterproof and my clothes all dried out quickly enough , it's most certainly something I could never have thought of doing with my ex abuser 😊 .

Escaping from any narcissist/ abuser isn't a quick and simple thing to do and I would be lying if I said it was . It takes a very brave person to stand up and say " enough os enough ! " to whoever it is that may be abusing them , that person then needs to put their total trust in others to help point them in various differant directions but after a while it does all seem to start making sense and life starts to become worth living again .

 

 Darkness can be driven out and the light will then take over , it can be done because I've done it , lived it and survived it and so can anyone else regardless of what they may of been told . As I've said many times before an abuser needs you much more than you will ever need them and yes you can live your life quite happily without them .

   Only ever let one person in your life try to control your own existence and let that person be you !!

 

           Let that sunshine in !!!!!