Taking one step .

 

Taking that first step even if you don't know the whole staircase..........

  Making that very first all important decision to break away from an abuser isn't always easy and you can only do it when your good and ready too , It can be done because I once had to climb those stairs to freedom myself a few years ago . I took each and every step up slowly and carefully untill finally I managed to get to where I am now in life .

 

 Escaping and breaking away from being abused like I've already said isn't always easy but yes it most deffinatly can be done , you have to be honest and open with those out there who that can and will help you .  It can sometimes  be a long path to travel but believe me it doesn't have to be ever walked alone and its worth every single step in the end , I was totally blown away by the amount of kind , helpfully and supportive people that helped me at the begining . Without their encouragement and pointing me in various differant directions for help I don't think I could have done half of what I'm doing now and I certainly wouldn't be the person I am today without them . 

   I wasted far too long being being blind to what was going on with my now ex abuser . Was I scared of him and what he was capable of doing or was I just so used to it I couldn't see what was happening to me anymore ?......

 Nope I don't know the answer to that one either but I knew one thing for sure and that was I couldn't keep letting it happen . 

Looking back now I just think I must of been such a total and complete muppet for allowing myself to fall into such a dark infested place for all that lengh of time but that's exacly what domestic abuse does to you and you end up stopping thinking logically . Your normal relatively sane brain turns into a mushy mess full of strange thoughts and bewilderment , the person you once were gets lost in it all and you forget who you once were . 

 Finally waking up one day ( and I mean from the abuse not in the morning )  is like having the lights suddenly all turned back on again when it's been dark for what seems like forever .  Everything just sort of falls into place , you see things so much clearer than you've ever seen them before and that inner strength/glow starts to slowly regrow back . 

That moment is your key to unlock your own door of domestic abuse and when it's open you can walk or rather run ( which ever cones first )  with your head held high and be proud of yourself .

 

  It's hard to explain exacly but it's a bit like not having that small missing bit of a jigsaw puzzle for ages and then one day suddenly finding it again .

 If you try to break away from it before your ready your more likely to keep losing that piece again and keep going back to look for it and only you can be in control of when that happens next when you find it again . 

     It's 100% true , everything will and can be o.k eventually , it might take a while to get there but yes of course you can do it .  

 It's a slightly scary process to begin with but worth every single second once you've done it . 

  If I can do it do can anyone else , its all about taking that first big step then each and every day taking one small step at a time .

Help is out there to guide and support you along the way when you need it and yes people will listern to you . These people will catch you and pick you up again if you fall , they will forgive if you get tempted back and most importantly help you again if you need it .

  For those that are still fighting the fight just hang on in there and start believing there is light at the end of your tunnel  . 

 Only you can start to change your stars  when your ready and when you finally make that decision then your future will be all yours and no-one else's . 

  Knowing that there are others out there that have been through similar can help give massive support to those that need it and that now is my soul purpose of doing all of this   

I've told my sad little story ( purely selfish reasons for that ) at the very begining and now I want to let the entire world know that domestic abuse in any form is wrong on so many endless levels .

 I refuse to let it be that quite elephant in the room that people try not to notice anymore , 

Yes it may not be a pleasant subject to discuss but how else can others learn from it and how can things ever change if no-one hears about it . 

 My abuse was all emotional and there's times I do wonder if I'll ever put what goes through my head sometimes about it all into some sort of vague order but then if I did manage to do that would I forget about my past events and if I forgot about those how could I be of any help to anyone else ?..... 

   My little world might be appear a bit unique to others  but I can at least now say with honest pride it's my own unique very special little world and no one else can or will ever control it again .

 Now its your turn to start believing in yourself and believing your worth it .

  Just say to yourself.....