Do you want to know a secret ?

 Domestic abuse has to be the biggest secret a person can ever keep ......

The abuser never talks about it or admits to doing it and the abused just keeps quiet about it .  Why keep quite ?  

     Because its quite simple you don't think anyone will believe a word you say or understand what it's like .

 Being abused isn't very pleasant ( please  note the understatement here ) and whilst it's happening  you tend to shut yourself off in your own little private world . 

You believe all the rubbish you are told by your abuser and you even start thinking and believing that maybe just maybe you do actually deserve all that's given to you .

 

  Why is domestic abuse not really spoken about ? 

   Because I think its not that others don't want to listern , it's more about that they don't like what they might hear what their being told . 

  No-one truly understands better about abuse than someone whose been there , seen it and done it and thats one of my many reasons for reaching out to others that have either gone through it or are still going through it . 

Are any of you out there being abused emotionally or physically ?  If your reading any of this stuff and you think... mmmmmm 

that sounds a bit like me 🤔  , then know there's always people out there ready to help when you really need it . There's loads of variouse online places you can check out or if your not quite ready to face the big outside world yet with it then you can always send an email to the email address at the bottom of my profile ( its only for this purpose and nothing more , any nuisance or scam emails will be not answered and promptly blocked ) I'll try to get back to anyone as soon as I can . 

  I'm not a business or a big company , it's just me and if it's that first reaching out place that can lead to great things then that's fantastic !  

I once spent 28 very long tough totally wasted years dealing with my now ex abuser , I never spoke to anyone about what was going on or what they were doing ....I just kept very quiet .

  Again why ? 

 Because I didn't think anyone else would understand and certainly not believe any of it . 

On the outside my ex came over as a completely different person , other people only saw that person that was wanted to be seen and not the nasty , spiteful , hurtful and manipulive person I saw every day behind closed doors .

  

   Now I count myself extremely lucky and I can shout about it out loud and I don't care who hears me , I think I've earnt the right to shout and write about it because I lived it and survived it .

 If it helps just that one person out there then it's all been worth it and mission accomplished and I will keep on shouting so others can hear .

  I've said it before , schools and work places should get people to come in to talk about domestic abuse because the subject shouldn't be kept quite . Why after hundreds of years of it happening isn't it being brought up as a subject to use to educate people with  ?

 

 I now talk openly about abuse on here , Facebook , Instagram , Quora and Thread , I refuse to be quiet about it anymore . I want others to communicate with me if they need to or they want to scream , shout or swear about it ( I'll most likely join in with the swearing  ) .

 Secrets aren't secrets if you tell ..... I only have one more very small tiny weeny secret I now keep about my abuse and its about doing all of this , No I'm not shy about it or embarrassed about it ( never would be ) but it's more about keeping that mini part of me just for those that really need it ( think Batman and his secret identity 🤔 ) .

  I may not have all the answers but at least I will listern , believe you and you can above all else trust me . All it can take is that one person to help open the door for someone else and that door could then lead to a whole new amazing adventure .

   If all of this shouting about abuse gets bigger ( please follow this to help ) then yes of course I will reveal to family and friends exactly what I've been up to and why but for the time being it's going to be my own secret personal mission to be there for other's . 

  I'm just one small gog in an even bigger machine , if we all work together that machine can keep on going and fight against domestic abuse , with your help that machine will one day overpower the abusers of this world .

  I've always believed that an army isn't necessarily just about fighting in wars it can be a strong group of like minded people believing and showing other that things need to change and the only way that can be done is if we all work together , I'm not expecting any major changes in my lifetime but maybe if over time the battle against abuse gets a little less then I know I've done something worthwhile in my life ( besides having my children of course ) . 

 

Yes I know I repeat an awful lot of stuff doing this but my only excuse is I need to keep making sure others understand just how life changing domestic abuse can be , it's not a pleasant and never will be an easy subject to read about and I make no apologies for it . It is what it is and it certainly doesn't deserve to be made all nice and fluffy . Not everyone will like some of the subject matter I writ about but I won't cover any of it up , abuse can happen to absolutely anyone be they adults , children , gay , straight or Alien so why hide all the facts ? 

  Yes I've used the odd random swear word here or there but again I'll make no apologies for that either , sometimes a swear word is the only word that fits when your talking about abuse and its extremly unpleasant side effects it can leave . As I've always said no-one ever fully understands about abuse unless they have been there  , seen it and survived it .

   Don't be quite about domestic abuse !!!!!!