Negative emotions .

 

Those that decide to abuse others seem to be endlessly over- flowing with negativity.....

 Abuser's , narcissists or bullies ( pretty much one and the same thing really 🤔 ) they all don't seem to have the ability to have any positive emotions or feelings , everything in their tiny little world seems to be full of hate , anger , jealousy or just plain simple poisonous venom . 

Everything they seem to do in life has to be full of nasty comments , spitefulness , general hatred or even violence and it's yet another thing I've never worked out the answer to ( if anyone has any idea please feel free to make a comment ) .

   Controlling other people's lives seems to be their favourite occupation , they hate it if anyone else appears to be having all the fun or actually enjoying themselfs so they make it their mission in life to try to put a stop to all that silly stuff and nonsense .  In their blinkered little minds it's just others trying to show off and trying to be the centre of attention and they think all that ridiculous fun needs to be stopped as soon as possible . If they can't stop it happening at the time they will certainly save it all up and let everything erupt as soon as your back behind closed doors where noone else can see .

   Hating anything or anyone that might have some effect in their little universe is something their really good at , it can be a person , an animal , a random object , a shop or even just a program on the T.V ( or in my case the wrong football team winning the match )  , it all goes on their list of most hated things and it all becomes your fault . 

If your one of the lucky ones like myself who have managed to escape from an abuser then you suddenly jump straight to the top of their list of things that need to be despised . Personally I think I'm so high up on  my exs list of hated things that I don't think I'll ever need to worry about being overtaken by anything , In fact if your unlucky enough to ever meet said ex and ask I'd most likely be compared to something highly unpleasant that had just been trodden in .

   Jealousy is another negative emotion abusers are really good at , anything that might makes them feel neglected or threatened in any way can switch on their jealousy button .  It can be anything from someone simply just asking you what the time is in a shop to giving too much attention to your own children and its the ultimate crime if an unknown member of the opposite sex dares speak to you and you answer them in return . I once even had to break the news to my ex that no the nice young man serving me in the shop wasn't really flirting with me it's called good customer service and they do it to everyone else they serve !

 

  Their own personal insecurities shouldn't be shared with others , if they have issues stemming from their younger years or learnt behavour from parents or friends there's really no need to take it out on those that they are supposed care about . 

  Trying to control everything and anything someone else does isn't going to change a thing , all it is going to do however is create even more negative energy than there was before and make life even more unpleasant to those concerned , so what's the point ?

   As you've probably gathered by now I'm one of those really annoying optimistic positive thinking people , I like to share that good happy feeling around with others because that one small smile you give someone today might be the only one they get . I'm not and never will be a negative hate the world kind of person . I've seen and delt with an ugly , jealous ,  hate filled person and to my knowledge that same person is still just as bad as they always used to be . It's their choice on how negative and full of hatred or jealousy they want to be in their life but my world is now a much bigger  , brighter and better place without them being in it .

  I now make my own free choices ( granted not always the wisest ones ) and if I make a few mistakes along the way then again it's my choice . I won't ever blame anyone else for my own actions like an abuser can do , I will ever force someone else to do something they don't want to do and most importantantly I will never take any aggression out on anyone else . 

  Abusers will do or say anything that causes pain to someone else , they don't seem to have any empathy , compassion or consideration for others , there is only one person who is right in the centre of their world and that's themselves and they don't appreciate anyone or anything getting in their way .

  

The above makes really good sense to me  , it's a complete and utter waste of time and energy trying to win with an abuser whilst your still with them , all they will do is continually move the goal posts . Just when you think your getting there they change their rules or upgrade them to another even higher level . 

   It's after you gain your freedom that you realise just how much you've lost in yourself and its then that you let good old Karma do its thing . Abusers will never change even if they say differently , they will take their nasty little habits with them where ever they go and try to use them on someone else . One day they will try to do it on the wrong not so easy to control person and that person might just not be as kind as you may be  .