Happy places .

 

Everyone has their own unique happy place,  it's a place they can feel at their most relaxed , at ease and totally chilled .......

Mine just in case no-one has worked it out yet is anywhere that's outside , no preferences its just simply being somewhere outside and I don't think I could ever do an office type of job or anything that keeps me locked up inside for too long .This old Hippy just simply loves being outdoors somewhere , it can be the garden , the lakeside , the coast or even just sitting at a bus stop , I simply just don't care all I do care about is that I'm outside breathing reasonably decent good fresh air .

Outside is my all time favourite happy place and doing the garden is my way of expressing myself and relaxing ( both flowers in the pictures are from my own garden ) . It helps clear away the cobwebs of thoughts in my mind  , it chills me out and above all else everything I do there is all my own work without any one else trying to control how I do things ( not perfect but then I guess neither am I 😊 ) .

  There was a time a few years ago when giving even a tiny once of my attention to someone or something else was deeply frowned upon , domestic abusers hate it when they are not the centre of your attention and will try their very best to keep you caged up and hidden away from other people or any other influences to keep you all to themselfs , they want and need  you to stop doing what you were doing  and put them at number one on your need to do list .

 

Finding your own special unique happy place is about the only thing that will keep you relatively sane sometimes , it can be your bolt hole where you feel the need to escape when things get too bad or you just simply need to recharge your inner self  .

  It can be where ever you want it to be just as long as it helps clear your head from all the fuzzy stuff that could be in there and it gives you in return that tiny bit of much valued you time away from the background of domestic abuse that can go on . 

If you don't have a garden then why not try just going for a walk somewhere , walk the dog , the cat or even the hamster , read a great book or put some good music on ( I used to sit with my earphones on not playing any music because he thought if I couldn't hear him  then there was no point in him saying anything to me 😆 ) .

 Finding your happy place is just the start and after finding it then the self therapy can begin to happen , it doesn't matter where or how you find it because it's all down to individual choice but I fully recommend everyone finds their own at some point . 

Each and every single person should have their own special happy place or me time area , it could be like me just sitting in the garden having a good cuppa or even just taking that early morning walk to work . It's amazing how much clearer thinking can be done once you have spent some time doing your own special thing just purely for yourself .

  

Do domestic abusers have their own forms of a happy place ?....

I really honestly don't know the answer to this question , are they happy and content enough in their own skin to want to spend time alone or do they always have to crave the attention of others again I don't know what or if they feel anything because they seem to keep that part of themselves all locked away in a big secret place hidden from everyone else where no one else can see it .

 That then leads to yet another really good question about do abusers actually have any real feelings or emotions ?....  

Well they are very good at playing the heart broken unloved person but is it all for real and do they really mean it ?......

   They seem to be very expert in knowing exactly how to hurt and offend others but do they know how to really show love or to actually care for someone ?.... 

If they do generally care then why do they feel the need to do what they do to others ?....

  So many questions and not nearly enough answers .

 

 Even if (and its a big if ) abusers did have a version of their own happy place I wonder where it could possibly be ?.... 

I don't think my ex actually ever had one but I could be wrong ( unless of course you count sat in front of the television watching football and shouting at it if his side were losing ) . 

I think perhaps there is far too much negativity involved in an abusers world to actually find a happy place  , yes there was laughter occasionly back then for me with my now ex but it only seemed to happen when it meant causing some sort of major embarrassment to others . 

I don't think it was ever really understood how I could just sit there in the garden not doing anything . No I wasn't being lazy as I was regularly told I was , I was just so relaxed that I didn't feel the need to be doing anything at all in order to get all stressed out about . 

 I still do it even now and and it still has absolutely the same very successful results 😊 .

 Find your special happy place today , enjoy it and own it !!!!!