Friday, March 4, 2022

After effects.

I can't speak for others but I know the after effects must be similar once you escape from your abuser with its various ups and downs ..... 

You can have some amazingly great days where you feel your ready to rule the world standing on top of the tallest mountain shouting to the world what a beautifully fantastic day its going to be and then there's the opposite side when you have days where you just want to stay in bed , pull the cover back firmly over your head and wonder if anyone would really notice if you just magically disappeared or would they really care  . 

  Those horrible dark foggy days are not the best whatever you decide to call them ( depression , PTSD, black dog and all their other various names ) and yes everyone gets those sort of days at some point in life  but after you've spent a good few years being abused they tend to be a bit bigger , darker and a lot heavier . They have a nasty habit of being able to take over and smother you occasionly ( in the most severe cases it can even lead to suicide ) , they can take over your whole very existence and totally ruin your life and even a super hero won't be able to do very much about it  .

 Other people will always try their very best to help,  understand and care but when your brain is busy whirling round like a mad demented crazy washing machine on what feels like an everlasting spin cycle muddling up all your normally logical reasonably sane thoughts sometimes and there's not a lot anyone can really do to help untill those thoughts and feelings are all good and ready in their to start falling back into their normal place on their own and life can start getting back to some sort of relative normality . 

 Yes you can go to your nice local doctor and ask for some lovely little pills to help take it all away and yes it can help enormously but at the end of the day those pills will never be able to take away what the cause of it all was , that same monster that lives under your bed will still be there just watching and waiting to catch you out unexpectedly another time when you least expect it and the whole crazy thing will happen again . 

Can talking to other people help ?.... 

Absolutly I honestly think it can but it still doesn't completely change the way your thinking or feeling at the time when the heavy clouds decend and you feel totally overtaken by the darkness , you may be surrounded by hundreds and thousands of other people but you can still feel very much alone . There are many various  brilliant counsellors , therapists , doctors and others out there that can/ will help you and yes of course please contact one if you feel it may help because that's exactly what their there for or find a very trusted friend or a special confidant and share a coffee or tea just simply talking . If you think talking to a totally random stranger may help you then just check out my blog email in my profile  ( I won't ever pretend to have all the answers but sometines it's better to put it all on the outside rather than keeping it in dont you think ? 🤔 ) .

  I now count myself extremly lucky and very thankful that I rarely have one of those horrible grotty days and that when it does happen my own various shades of grey don't get nearly as dark and scary as they used to be . I'm by nature an upbeat positive thinking optimistic kind of person but even I can get the odd bad day unexpectedly when I least expect it and when these do happen I can now hear my mothers voice in my head telling me  " get your finger out and get on with it girl ! " so I force myself to put my crown back on straight , pull my socks back up and put a smile on ready to face whatever the day might bring even if the stuff on the inside is still having a major disagreement with its self . The smile may sometimes be a forced fake one but at least I'm still trying to smile ( most days its very real of course ) 😊 .

  Unfortunately there is and never will be a fast and simple answer or magical cure for depression but those with it should always try to remember that they are not and never will be alone with their dark days , this is where your most valued trusted friends come into play and personally I would never be where I am today without mine ( they know who they are 😏 )  . Sometimes just sitting next to someone who cares without actually saying a single word can mean a great deal to someone else who may need it  .

 Today might be the darkest dismal day for you but it could be the most outstanding beautiful sunny day tomorrow 😎 .



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