How does your garden grow ?

 

After escaping from domestic abuse comes the almighty feeling of having a massive heavy weight lifted from your shoulders.......

   Once the burden has finally been removed the next bit is total panic !!! Why the panic ?....

  Realility kicks in, and you realise that yes you may be a free person but then what hell do you do next ?....

  

   You just stop ✋️,  then sit down and relax because you've just achieved a seriously major thing and the hardest part has just been done .  Whilst your catching your breath write down any questions you may need to ask to people who can help you and then search online for the contacts your going to need .

   I'd love to be able to write down all the brilliant groups and their phone numbers but unfortunatly different countries have different help- lines . Don't ever let the thought of starting that search scare you because once you either write that first Email or dial that first number everything just seems to become a whole lot easier as you go along .

   Think of it like the seasons changing , here in England we are really close to the beginning of Spring , the birds are waking up early and showing off with their morning songs and there's a few signs that the plants in my garden are slowly reaching their way up towards the sun .   

  Just like those newly emerging fresh shoots those first few days or weeks after breaking free for the abuse survivor can be a bit unnerving but it's now its nothing but constant  new strong growth . 

    I love watching how my plants seem to know exactly when it's time to restart their life , they take a slight risk everytime but as yet have never got it wrong or failed to amaze me with their colourful flowers ( the bees seem to appreciate it too ) , My job in their future life is  to make sure they don't become smothered by the overpowering weeds that want to turn everything ( just like the domestic abusers of this world ) .

  Yes this enormously positive optimistic thinking person is getting totally excited about all the fun and games awaiting me in the next coming months , I'm already mentally planning which plants will go where and will I have enough room to cram a few more in somewhere , there's the heaverly  anticipated heavenly fishing trips to look forward to and the odd random trip to the coast with vague excuses that it was a really good excuse to get some decent proper fish and chips .

    There's a glowing warm future just waiting for all domestic abuse survivors and trust me it's well worth the lost time that was spent trying to make do with what could be scrapped together when with an abuser . You all know how many ridicules years I wasted of my now much valued life in trying to live a life where I never really existed , those years I will never get back or repair damage done during them but the one most all important thing I can now do is share my story , support anyone that may need it and encourage others to go out there and enjoy what the world has to offer .

   

 I'm ever hopeful my positivity about life is highly contagious , I'll keep on posting about how outstanding life can be after domestic abuse and maybe fingers crossed I'm sparking something in someone elses mind that will take away those horrendous dark clouds that come with domestic abuse , the abused are never the crazy dreamers but the abused most certainly are .

  No one ever has the right to overtake , control or dominate another persons life and just like those weeds that try to raise their ugly little heads in my garden the good postives in life will over-rule them if needed .

    I think I've spoken before about the beautiful and perfect simple little Dandelion plant before , many see it as an over powering annoying weed but I don't, I see it as an amazing splash of much needed colour after winter and its also acts as one of the first ports of call for the Bumble bees that have newly awoken in my gardening world it has as much right to grow and live its life as another plant .  Just as the old saying goes " A weed is only a weed because its in the wrong place " ( that to a certain  point includes Domestic abusers ) .  If that humble bright sunshine yellow Dandelion can have such an amazing part to play in life then why can't any survivor of domestic abuse ?...

    Your absolutely right there is no reason why not .

     Life is never always easy ( and I wouldn't expect it to be either ) but it's what you put into it that really counts , if you insist on planting weeds then you'll never get the beauty of seeing nice flowers . 

   Those that domestically abuse only have weeds in their life and they will try to go out of their way to spread those weeds , they are the one's that waste their whole existence in a weed infested garden . 

 Now the next question is what do you want your garden to be like ?....

     My garden is as I now am and thats full of life  , regrowth and endless possibilities , any possible weeds that are there is because I decided they could be there and just like Mr Blackbird that's the very first to start his song in the morning I'm hoping to shout out to the world that this domestic abuse survivor is extremly proud to still be able to exist !!

  I remember all to well when someone else tried to rule my life and it was me that made that all powerful life changing decision to be my own boss in life and to de-weed my garden  .

   Never forget that just like any really good keen gardener everyone has the ability to adapt and change their garden in what ever way they see fit  , they decide on what goes where and whether to keep those cheerful Dandelion's .