Feeling small .

 

 Domestic abuse is full of variouse acts of disrespect and humiliation.......

One of an abusers favourite things to go out of their way to make someone else feel almost non-existent , they don't care about how that other person might feel just as long as they think it makes them look bigger and better .

Now we all know that's a highly unpleasant way to treat someone else, but since when has a domestic abuser ever cared about what other people feel ?....

 The more humiliating and embarrassed they can make someone feel then the better it can make them feel . They don't care where they do it but normally, it's done in front of as many other people as possible in order to get the effect they want and they then gloat in other persons public humiliation .

   Belittling someone in order to make themselves look all big and superior is something I know about all too well , the " your fat , usless and ugly " comments were not just reserved for behind closed doors it could dished out on any random occasion that would give my now ex abuser the attention and satisfaction he craved . I've had it thrown at me in supermarkets , outside the school gate , in a church and numerous other places all without any care or thought on how just how devastating and humiliating it might of all been for me .

 

Some of the many many forms of humiliation , disrespect, and being made to feel smaller than a small thing are .......

  Compliments that were actually disguised as an insult .

Making sarcastic comments in order to demean or embarrass. 

Laughing at opinions , ideas, or actions in front of other people .

Saying things to undermine or insult .

Another persons achievements or any success totally dismissed or down played .

Cutting someone else off in mid sentence making it look like that the other person is talking utter rubbish .

The abuser then insults you even further by trying to say they " were only joking " in order to justify their actions which we all know is just a feeble excuse .

The abusers aim is complete embarrassment and awkwardness for the other person and unfortunately it's normally directed towards the latest poor victim who they happen to find themselves caught in their large sticky spider Web . 

 Being made to feel small can be completely soul destroying and it can crush any self-confidence a person may have . Abusers only thoughts are to make sure whoever they are with at the time feel totally belittled , weak and usless .

   Yes , you could try to defend yourself by reversing it all back to them but then the treatment can either get worse or the killer glare of " just wait till I get you back home " could happen , once that door is closed be prepared for revenge in which ever form they feel fits the crime .

 The big question is why does the abuser insist on doing what they do and is it all about just to make them feel better about themselves ?....

 Possibly , maybe , could be but to be honest it's anyone's guess . 

They must have a seriously low opinion of themselves if they feel the need to make someone else feel even smaller than they are or maybe they are just so bitter , twisted  and nasty that they actually believe its all perfectly normal and everyone does it .

  Maybe its all classic Napoleon Syndrome/complex/  ( my ex was about the same height as me but his character was weaker ) where they feel the need to over compensate all their social shortcomings and small character by being intimidating or aggressive towards others 🤔 ,

or it could just be that they are nothing but pathetic overgrown temper tantrum throwing 2 year olds who don't know how to behave themselves properly and they have no intention of ever growing up !

   OK , so you find yourself being made to feel small and inferior what's the next steps ?....

As I've just said you could try go do it back but there could be unfortunate consequences attached .

You could try turning all that negativity into a positive by using humour and just laugh it off ( but over time it can cease to be funny in any form and you run out of laughter ) .

  You could be brave and say it as it is , that you don't appreciate what's being said and there was no reason to say it ( but would the abuser get what your saying and would they stop doing it ?..)

Knowing what's meant as a genuine gone wrong joke and what's just offensive ( not always an easy job when it comes to abusers because they are so hood at what they do ). 

 Doing something is sometimes better than doing nothing so as your sat/stood there feeling like you just want to melt away 

 and you feel like all the eyes in the room are aimed in your direction and the person who is trying their best to make you feel not worthy of being is there then maybe you should start to consider if you really need this sort of treatment from someone who is supposed to care about you .

 Do you really need your confidence getting a battering every time you are near other people within hearing and when does a " joke " stop bring a joke ? ....

    Being positive is now one of my favourite occupation's and I'm one of the first to enjoy a really good laugh but if someone dares to crossover the line or decides their idea of fun is to belittle me and try to make me look worthless then they will not so polity get told exactly where to shove it with added swearing , this once suppressed , weak , scared to cause any trouble person now makes sure the person involved will only ever if they are really lucky get the opportunity to do it once .

  

  Domestic abusers hate anything or anyone that is stronger than they are ( haven't you noticed they always go for what they think are the weaker victims ? ) so why not show them just how strong you can be by changing your stars . 

   Your future is all down to what ever direction you decide to walk , Fate and its great friend destiny might have great plans for you .