Prove it .

 

Domestic abuse, be it physical or emotional, has to be one of the hardest things to prove if you've ever been unfortunate enough to have it happen to you......

 it's never obvious, and if it's physical, the abuser makes sure that the bruises can't be seen . If any noticeable marks are visible, then various excuses are made to explain them .

Domestic abusers very rarely do their abusing in public because that would mean other people would be able to see the abuser for who they really are and not the person they pretend to be .

  How can you prove abuse ever happened when no one else ever sees it or hears it and even if the abuser is ever challenged about their actions they will then instantly become the victim pleading how its all not true , they would never dream of doing anything like that  and putting on a performance that could be Oscar winning .

 Both parties can provide the tears but the big difference is that the victims tears are almost silent and they will talk in a very calm matter of fact sort of way , where as the abuser will pull out all the stops with heart breaking sobs and dramatic stories of how they are totally innocent. 

  Emotional/mental abuse is a seriously tough one to prove because there's no evidence or photos to be taken , it all happens on the inside where no one will ever see and the scars or bruises are invisable. 

  If like myself your intimidated into having to have sex whether you want it or not is now at least in England classed as a form of rape , but if there's only two people in the room at the time and there's no fighting or drugs concerned how can you possibly prove it ?

 I realised a long time ago there was absolutely no point in reporting my now ex to anyone because I've got nothing to prove what's happened , there's no recordings or pictures taken , there's just me talking about events and what used to go on .

 The ex of course tells a totally different story and it's entirely up to the individual to believe what ever they want to believe .

  Meanwhile he gets away with everything and to my knowledge continues to do so with whoever he is with and I get the joy of trying to put some sort of vague order all the thoughts and feelings that have come from me spending 28 very long wasted years being abused .

   My story of domestic abuse is my own  personal journey and it's completely up to who ever reads any of it to make their own minds up on if I'm believed or not , I may not be able to condem my ex to a life of guilt but one thing I can do is to shout out to others about it and be there if any other victims need it ( email in profile if needed) .

  I've not made it anything glamorous or fancy I've just written about facts ( in fact I've proberly played it down a bit in places ) , I'm now stuck with all the after effects that I've collected along the way but one thing I'm endlessly positive about is that it will never ever beat me  !!

  My story isn't as horrendous as some others and if I find it frustrating on how hard it is to prove my past then just imagine what things must be like for them , its one of the many reasons why I'm now doing these posts and knowing there's someone out there somewhere that has been there , seen it and survived it helps then fantastic and between us all we will just keep on going forward in life .

  

  I've been asked a couple of times how I can be so positive and content all the time especially after what has happened and thats easy to answer,  it's because I choose to be that way and not wallow in my past despair . I refuse to let my miserable past effect my future happiness,  there's only one person allowed to control me now and that's myself .

  I started all this to help defuzz some of the crazy thoughts that were once whizzing around my mind and to get my story out there,  this I've now done and will continue trying to do my best in being there for others if or when needed. 

 As much as I wont be able to ever prove any of my domestic abuse happened neither can my now ex prove any of it didn't happen , if he ever gets around to hear or read anything ( which I very much doubt ) then tough , he can try to convince others that I'm a lying over dramatic drama queen but I will always know that I've told the truth and nothing but the truth . 

I may not write amazingly interesting or fascinating pieces but I'd like to think is that what I do write is read by all and and anyone that is still surrounded by any form of domestic abuse can see that you can excape from it all and there's are loads of amazing people out there who can and will help .

  One of the big things that frustrates me the most is that some domestic abusers can play the system to their own advantage and that's wrong on so many levels, there are some abusers who have even used the domestic abuse card to get themselves rehomed whilst the victim is left to struggle on their own .

 Why are women believed more than men about being abused ? and above all else why cant they get exactly the same treatment ?  .....

 Nope not a clue either on both but maybe one day things might change . 

   

  Positive end of post time and I think it should finish with a positive thought .......

       Always be true to yourself  !!!!!!

  

   Photo used below is one of my own recent ones and I just love the way that Mr Robin was ruling his day without a care in the world .

  

1