Domestic Abuse will never ever be an easy subject for some let alone be the most interesting but for those of us who have had to live through it and experience it well let's just say we would have to agree to disagree ....
No one ever asks for it, and most certainly, no one ever deserves it regardless of what an abuser might say .
Yes I may repeat myself a lot about things but if that's what it takes to help make people take notice and listern then so be it and I apologise if some find things a bit boring but to be honest I can't and won't brush domestic abuse under any carpet and I refuse to hide what happened to me over my 28 years of it like the events never happened .
My ex abuser is still out there somewhere thinking that he can use and abuse anyone that gets in close contact to him and I'm not stupid enough to think I have some sort of secret power to be able to stop him but what I do have is the strength and power of words, and that's exactly why I'm now writing these posts .
I've lost 28 very valuable years of my far too short life on someone who never really appreciated anything I ever did, and my intentions are now to make up for lost time . Those lost years I will never get back and that's all down to just one extremly selfish greedy abusive person , I don't hate him because I've completely run out of feelings in any form for that particular person but what I do hate is the fact I had to experience it all and there's been a few more after me that have had to tolerate it too .
That's how totally unfair domestic abuse can be ....the innocent get punished, and the guilty get away with it .
Do I have serious issues with the abuse I once lived through ?....
Of course I bloody well do !!!!
Thankfully, my mental health hasn't been dramatically affected too much, and I've still managed to keep my sense of humour ( granted there's a form of PTSD tucked away somewhere deep inside but it's only allowed to show its face on rare occasions).
My issues nowadays are more about how stupid I was to let myself ever get in that sort of situation in the first place and why did I allow it to continue for such a ridiculous amount of time and both of those issues are exactly why I'm now doing all of this .
So let's get back to the question: Is any of this interesting or helpful ?....
Well for me it most certainly is and fingers crossed it is for others too .
Alerting others about domestic abuse has now become a very important part of my life , interesting or not it's out there and it's happening right now to thousands of others male or female in loads of different countries .
Abusers are out there physically , mentally and emotionally ruining other peoples lives and all because they seem to think that they are the most important individuals on this planet....Well guess what ?....
Their not and they never will be!!!!!!!!
Is there life after domestic abuse ?...
Yes I fully believe there can be but unfortunately not always, some can find it just all to much and simply not want to continue existing anymore .
Domestic abuse is something that can only be fully understood by those that have lived it , therapists and others can try to help but the books they may read or life stories like my own will never be the same as talking to a real true survivor who is proof there can be a happy ever after .
Is my life now Perfect ?....
No way and I wouldn't want it to be either .
I try to go through life thinking positive and I'm on a constant learning curve with it .
I'm more true to myself now than I have ever been and I fully love the life I'm living .
I now get the opportunity to do what ever I want without any worry or major concerns and all the silly little things I was once told I wasn't allowed to do are now all done with a massive smile 😊 .
This particular positive thinker would like to think that maybe just maybe those that read any of these various things I've written get informed along the way about domestic abuse , granted Its not a deep and meaningful subject matter or as fascinating as a wildlife programme on the television but it's just as real and as I've explained many times before it can happen to absolutly anyone and in a lot of cases you will never know about it .
My abuse went unknown to my family and friends all the years I was involved in it , I never spoke about it to anyone ( didn't they get a great surprise when I finally told them after the ex finally left ) , they still to this day have no idea just how far that abuse went .
Why haven't I ever discussed it all with them ?.....
Because like most other people if you've not actually experienced it you can never really completely understand it , they would of course be deeply concerned , look shocked and try to apologise for something they haven't done but that's not what a survivor wants or needs , survivors need to know they have security , love and supportive people around them who don't ask endless questions that can't always be answered .
We will talk when the time feels right enough , we will try to laugh and joke about it to make things appear lighter and yes we will of course try to repair ourselves eventually over time .
Next time the subject of domestic abuse comes up in a conversation try discussing it and not avoiding it , a lot of us survivors will talk openly about it ( maybe not necessarily going into detail like I do with these posts ) .
The world can be a phenomenal place after you've escaped from abuse .
Both photos used are my own and as the last one says.........
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