Survival.

 

Escaping and breaking free from a narcissist/abuser is just the start......

Realising you need to put an end to the situation you may find yourself in with an abuser is one thing but then to actually do something about it is a totally differant thing all together . OK ...so you've finally had your light bulb moment and decided you can't keep on going in a physical or emotional domestic abusive relationship and summed up all your bravely to inform your abuser you won't put up with it anymore and you've had enough of them but then what ?

That magical wake up light bulb moment is just the begining of your future so you need to plant that seed of your self inner growth very well . 

The first few days will all seem a bit bewildering and scary because you have become so used to doing everything your abuser has wanted , they will plead their case with their fake broken hearted tears saying their sorry and other unmeaningful things like " let's start again " but then when this doesn't work next comes the anger . 

You will get called endless disgusting vile things and all sorts of bazaar things will get brought up in various arguments and they will in no uncertain terms tell you exactly what they think of you but once you've got past this horrible part then the rest is relatively easy ( honestly in comparison it really is ) .

 First things first you need to stop and catch your breath , you have just made a massively important decision for your future and it can't be rushed . 

There's a lot of very raw and honest conversations to be had with total random strangers and you may need to find a trusted friend to talk to if you've managed to still keep one and this is where the email in my profile can come in if it's needed and I give my word what ever is spoken about will remain confidential . 

  You have now just successfully planted your seed in all the far too heavy stuff you've been carrying around for far too long and it's now begining to start to grow and take root .

 Make sure you collect together all your private personal things in a safe place ( things like bank details , passport , driving licence and other things like that ) because your going to need them at some point . 

 If you have enough time to prepare before hand then make a secret emergency bag with all the above in and a change of clothes just in case its needed abd you need to leave in a hurry .

 I learnt quite early on that stuff is just stuff and it can always be replaced if needed , so don't worry about the non important things just concentrateon on yourself and your children if you have any .

  There are so many various amazing groups of helpful people out there who can and will advise you if you only ask , they would have heard what your about to tell them before so won't be shocked by anything you have to say . 

They will take you at your own pace and if you fall they will help pick you up again . I only know about the English ones  but I'm positive there will be the same kind of help out there for other countries so just check it out on the Internet if your able or trust someone else to do it for you .  

  After you have made all the calls , spoken to all the right people and got the help you so rightly deserve then the rest is all up to you now , its going to be your own outstanding future so why not make it a really good one ? .

  Your inner strengh ( I've spoken about that before ) will slowly start to grow so you need to nurture it and feed it well with every small successful step you take forward , these small steps will gradually get bigger as you go along the road of recovery and that inner strengh will grow with you  .

You will see the inner growth begin with your confidence and self worth , that once submissive scared person will become no more and instead there will be a most brilliantly strong all powerful person instead . The person you used to be will start to return and supprise , abd you'll decover your are not as disgusting or worthless as your fingers crossed now ex abuser once convinced you that you were .

  That seed you originally planted is now just growing and growing , its roots are getting stronger by the day . As I've said quite a few times now that feeling once you first realise that you've managed to successfully escape is phenomenal  , you seem to just smile constantly for no apprent logical reason and people start to notice the way you are behaving . 

 Family and friends will come back out of the darkness to speak to you again , in a really odd way its interesting to hear what your now ex was once saying to others about you and my bets are that it wasn't you that they didn't want to visit but it was because of who else was there instead .

  Now let's end on a more positive thought....

You have all seen a Poppy growing somewhere but did you know that a poppy loves to grow in soil that has once been neglected ? .. It's true !.🌺

Think of all those poppy fields where there's been a war many years ago in france , even though horrendous things may of once happened in that field those Poppies still manage to raise their heads to the sun and become beautiful and so can you 😊 .