The First wake up call .

 

 I often get asked when did I first realise I was a victim of Domestic abuse ?  and this outstanding film/book is part of the answer.......

    I clearly remember watching the Oscar award winning film The Color Purple for the very first time many many years ago . I was sat completly spellbound watching as the story gradually unfolded before my eyes , I was sitting alone with my normal after dinner cup of tea and had a very unsteady hand slowly trying to drink it , I was  realising that I was just like the lead character Celie 😳 !!!! . 

All this film watching and waking up to reality was all sort of happening whilst my now abusive ex was sat in another room watching and swearing at the football and he was totally unaware about what was going on where I was concerned  ( not that he would have done very much about it even if he had by some miracle worked it all out ) . Maybe getting your wake up light bulb moment about domestic abuse from a film is a little bit unusual but I'm most deffinatly pleased it happened when it did , if it wasnt for that film or that moment my life would certainly not be as contented and as peaceful as it is now . From the moment that brilliant film began the seed of my future freedom had been planted and then that seed started to grow .

    I'm not going to ruin the complete phenomenal story line for those that haven't watched or read it yet ( but seriously suggest you do) but Celie who was an amazing character developes onto the most beautiful butterfly after being a down trodden caterpiller for years . She over comes violence and abuse , she conquers her inner demons and proves you can come out the other side reasonably in tact . It taught me that you should only do things because you want to and most deffinatly not because someone else expects you to  . In case you've not guessed it yet I fully recommend either watching it or reading it ( Audio books is a really good option too ) 😊 .

   Funny how it took just that one film to begin the slow waking up  of my thoughts about being domestically abused , I most certainly wasn't expecting it to happen and if I'm complety honest I don't  really know at the time why I was about to sit down and watch this particular film but that light bulb moment happened and and I now rewatch it , read it or listern to it at any given opportunity just to help remind myself of just how encredibly really lucky I am today.

My life may not be one hundred percent perfect now ( whose is ?) but I now take full responsibility for it , if I mess up with something then I learn from it and try again . It's all thanks to Celie that I'm now writting on here , facebook ,Instagram , Threads , X ( was Twitter ) and Quora and without watching her regain her inner strengh none of this would be happening today . If I'm honest I'm not too sure I could see my future when I was with my ex , if my life at the time was practically none existent back then I dread to think what I would have ended up doing to take all the darkness away  ( still scares me a bit thinking about the possibilities even now ) . 

The urge or need to shed a tear or cheer at the end isn't quite as strong it used to be ( its still been known to happen occasionally when I least expect it and no-ones looking ) but I shall always have a massive amount of enormous respect and gratitude for the actors involved , how well the screenplay was written and how excellently they portrayed the characters they played so expertly ( Oscars fully deserved in all cases ) .  The film obviously isn't just about Celie and her overcoming the darkness in  her life but that's the part in it that hit me with a lightning bolt that evening whilst I was watching it .

 Granted It did take me a few more years after first watching it to finally do something construtive about the abuse I was receiving at the time but I'll never forget the first time I watched it , the thoughts it gave me and the seed of reality it planted in my mind . That seed may of lay dormant for a while but it began to slowly grow over time trying to  reach for the sunlight and as it grew I became stronger too , my self belief and confidence began to return , then one day with much supprise to my now ex I had my wake up light bulb moment and took the control of my life back . 

 Funny isn't it what or who can change your outlook and views on life , it can something you hear , someone you see or even just like in my case watching a film .  Would it have rung any bells for me if I wasn't in the abusive situation I was in at the time I don't know but what I do know is that without that sudden moment of deciding to sit down to watch it I might still be having my entire soul absorbed by someone else's greedy wants or needs and the life I'm now living would never exist ( that's another scary thought ) . 

  Have you had your wake up call yet and if yes what was it ? If you haven't and your reading all of this then I promise it will happen for you eventually , sometimes it can take a while but all domestic survivors manage to get there in the 0end and just keep in walking  the path that lays ahead of them .

 ( Photo used below is one of my own 😊 . )