Once upon a time.

Pre- domestic abuse there was once a time when planning to go out to celebrate and have a few drinks with friends for Halloween was a must ....

We never really needed much of a good excuse back then to get completely silly and dress up in some sort of weird and crazy fancy dress and then go out and have a really great night out  ( Christmas eve and New Years Eve were always a great one's to do it too ) but that all changed as soon as I met the now ex and my happy contented fun days were about to come to a halt . 

He didn't do anything for Halloween ( he didn't really do anything much for anything come to think of it  ) and it wasn't untill we had the children that I could get away with putting a pumpkin out with a few cheap and cheerful decorations for all the trick or treaters to see and enjoy . 

His idea of fun on every weekend ( pretty much every day really ) was to sit on the sofa , drink coffee , eat something and watch what ever football game happened to be on the television at the time and those damn over excited annoying pesky kids knocking on the door  making a fuss would just rudely interrupt everything . 

Granted It might not be everyone's favourite time of year but its always been one of my eagerly awaited times and I always look forward to it ( I blame it personally on being born on All Hallows but that could just also be a very feeble excuse 😏 ) . 

With the ex there was deffinatly no going out socially enjoying ourselfs and meeting with any friends , no totally ridiculous unnecessary dressing up and absolutly most certainly no child like behavour or silly outrageous fun allowed !!

Thinking about it I seriously can't really remember any occasion over the 28yrs we were together where hair was allowed to be let down or no resorting back to not acting our age happening . Dressing up and not really caring how daft you might look was never anyhere on the list of possible exciting things to do of an evening .

In his odd special little world we were nothing but sensible grown -ups and therefore we had to always act that way . 

  So whenever Halloween was sneaking up I would try to buy the best pumpkin I could find cheaply and collect various affordable sweets out of what little money I had to myself , put the collection of skeletons , ghosts and bats out and then waited for the door to be knocked on . As you've  properly already predicted...  yes it was just me who answered the door everytime , me who handed the treats out and me who complimented each and every child on their brilliantly scary costumes 🎃 .

  I was often asked why did I bother to keep on doing it and didn't I think the whole thing was a complete and utter waste of time and good money ?....

 

But I still just keep on doing it and I've never really worked out who gets the most enjoyment out of it.... is it me or the children ?....😉

   That's one of the many funny things about abusers they seem to hate anyone else trying to enjoy themselves unless of course it involves them and its a bonus if they happen to be the centre of everyone's attention ( some will try to say they are shy or embarrassed but they love all the fuss given really ) .

 Things have now had a seriouse and excellent upgrade for me when it comes to all things Halloween , the once small bag of random bits of decorations has now become a large slightly overflowing box full with various signs , broomsticks , cobwebs , spiders , the odd gravestone and lots of lights to add to the spooky atmosphere , this years seasonal dress up was pretty good but already there's plans in process for next years possible Steampunk looking outfit with all the trimmings including a rather mischievous pair of thigh high kinky boots !!!!!! 😏  .

  

How things have changed 🎃🎃

  This year I spent the whole weekend being highly entertained by lots of witches , werewolves , scary skeletons ,variouse monsters and of course supercreeps !

 Meeting good friends ( and mine are just the best ) was something I really missed but thankfully they never gave up on me and since my regeneration I'm always ready to go out with them and have an absolute Halloween ball .

  If your reading all of this and thinking " I wish " due to sinking in a dismally abusive sand pit then dont ever forget things can change and life can be amazingly good once again . 

 

  Abusers are nothing but big bullies really and bullies are nothing but even bigger cowards when someone larger ( or a passing witch/wizard ) happens to comes along . If I can regain my life so can anyone else , I'll never forget the look on my now exs face when I mentioned getting the police involved when I first dumped him and told him he needed to go  , first he looked a bit supprised and nervous then he laughed because he didn't think I meant any of it and then when he finally realised I was meaning every single word I said he tried the " let's start again " card and then the angry card ( never once was there " I'm sorry "  card offered ) , but this time there was no way I was going to lose any more of my very valuable years so I just smiled sweetly and repeated my words in the same calm steady voice and stood my ground . 

  I think he knows this particular witch  is      seriouse now !! 🤣