My story Part 11.

 Now this is when the fun and excape to freedom really begins ........ 

Like I said in my previouse post my confidence was quickly returning back to me and I was also rapidly coming out of my very long 28 year domestic abusive hibernation . 

One day at the end of January 2015 I decided out of the blue ( although it had all been building up in my mind over time )  I couldn't and wouldn't do it or put up with it anymore so I very calmly took my engagement ring off and informed my abuser they had 1 month to find somewhere else to live or else I'd go to the police and tell them everything including his pathetic and feeble threats about his saying he would  kill me if I ever left him ( In my case I knew it was weak because he was to much of a scardy cat  to do anything like that to me but in some cases it can be very horrifically all to real )  , emotionally abuse had just been classed as a crime now in England ( about time too )  and that I'm sure that they would really love to hear all about him and the not very nice things he we had been doing  . 

This of course wasn't exactly what was expected to come from me and he tried very hard in telling me I was completely wrong and that I was being totally ridiculous .

My answer was that maybe he should try checking it all out when his next online and whilst he was at it check out the possible sentance he could recieve if he was proven to be guilty .

 I think he honestly thought I'd back down within a couple of days , change my mind and stop being so silly and dramatic but I was now a whole lot stronger than I ever used to be and I stuck very firmly to my guns no matter what he tried to say or do to try to convince me otherwise .

Would I of really gone to the police and reported him if he hadn't of gone ?....

I honestly don't know but him thinking I could gave me some sort of super power over him and him just thinking I possibly could was obviously enough for him to decide maybe its was a  wiser decision to go rather than stay . 

 Luckily because of making sure my name had always gone on various paperwork when it came to various homes we had lived in over the years ,  I double checked and yes the place could still be all mine when he left just as long as I could raise the money to keep on living there ( which I did and still do to this day ) . He tried his very best to make things seriously awkward and differcult by asking for half the deposit back and he was promptly told it couldn't be done so he then tried to cancel the tenancy but what he didn't know was that I'd already been there and explained everything to them ( even about the abuse I'd received ) and as far as they were concerned me and the kids were perfectly safe and could all still live there so a new contract was quickly drawn up and only I needed to sign it .

 The ex finally packed all his things after a month or so along with a few other things I later discovered that didn't actually belong to him and he left thinking in his own sweet twisted warpped little mind that being that I was " fat , useless and ugly " I wouldn't possibly stand a chance of doing anything on my own , let alone surviving but I of course knew much much better. 

Because the ex was trying to be what he thought was really clever at the time he  had cancelled the home phone line ( discovered that little supprise when I tried to make a call one day ) but I would just simply borrow the phone at the shop I volunteered at to sort everything out when I needed to and I had a few very raw honest conversations to various people to get the help I needed to start again all on my own  . 

   I honestly completly surprised myself that I had not only gained my freedom  , had gotten the engagement ring promptly sold for for scrap ( asked the children first but they didn't want it either ) but I had also arranged getting help with the rent  , sorted out an energy supplier and arranged all the other things needed to live in the house all by myself  and I had actually got myself a mobile phone contract !! 

 I did go through a brief spell of going to look for something I thought I needed only to discover it had obviously moved house without me but I learnt over time to see it all as " just stuff " and stuff can always be replaced . 

I even got to have my first highly succeful Girls night out in years !!!!!! 🤣

  If your reading all of this and thinking to yourself I couldn't possibly do it then your wrong , all you have to do is be honest and ask for help , there are some amazing people and various groups out there to help and support domestic abuse victims they will guide you at your own pace and catch you when you fall .

 Just because your not physically hit by someone it doesn't mean it doesn't count as  abuse , emotional abuse is just as bad . Male or female its all still abuse . It's not an impossible thing to escape from as I discovered , it isn't always an easy decision to make but personally I feel its one one of the greatest decisions you can ever make in your life . 

If the flowers in the garden can bloom regardless of the weather then so can you and you are free to travel your life's journey whatever way you decide.