My story Part 10 .

  I had succsesfully managed to some how convince my now ex that 3 children of different sexs couldn't possibly share the same bedroom for ever...

 So we moved again to a bigger place . He never really bothered to check the place out properly until the day we actually moved in but as long as the telly worked to watch football I don't think he really cared . 

One of the cats that were never allowed indoors for some reason was moved and left to find its own bearings outside in the new garden but the other one that was part of a birthday present for child No1 had to be unfortunately left behind because he didn't want them both to come ( no reason given just that he didn't want it there ) . 

To his complete and utter delight he discovered that there was a lovely great big hedge about 6ft tall in the front garden which meant no one could possibly see us from the outside , there was even a massive fence in the bottom of the back garden too ( both happily no longer there now ) . 

One thing I'm endlessly grateful for is that I've always made sure that my name was put on any paperwork when ever we moved and it would prove to be a added bonus later on .

  Life went on just as it had before but he was getting even worse over time and the more insecure he felt the worse the tantrums would become  . 

 The sulks got bigger , the temper tantrums increased , the controlling was upgraded and the daily put downs continued . I noticed it was all getting even worse as the kids grew older and he started to talk about a child No4  . I promptly made the decision at this point to make sure he couldn't hide things again and went to my doctors and sorted something out , this decision of course didn't go down well with at all with him as it meant I'd actually dared to do something without his approval or permission and he'd had no control over that part of me anymore . 

  Child No3 started school and I then had what I thought was an incredibly brilliant bright  idea of volunteering at a local charity shop in order to help get myself a reference and work experience for when I finally needed to start working again . I  remember starting and being as nervous as hell due to my severe lack of confidence and I  refused at first to go anywhere near the shop floor to begin with and just wanting to stay in the background sorting donations out but thanks to the great people working there my confidence began to slowly grow and within 4yrs I became not only a key holder but also unofficial deputy manager plus I gained 3 NVQs ( for those who dont know their a form of English qualification ) . 

Not bad for a fat , useless and ugly person I think 😊 !!!!!!. 

He was yet again not particularly happy with what I was doing at this time , how dare I actually have a life he didn't or couldn't control and that didn't revolve entirely around him !!!!! 

He kindly informed me on several occasions that everybody and anybody had NVQs ( he didn't have one for a start ) , who did I think I was pretending I knew what I was doing ?... and did I not know that everyone was laughing at me ? ....

No way was any of this rubbish streaming out of his mouth going to put me off doing what I was doing  , I had discovered I wasn't as stupid as I was being lead to believe and I was actually pretty damn good at what I was doing .

Obviously I must of been having affairs left , right and centre during the daytime I was there ( including one with a gay, deaf twenty year old lad ! ) because " why else would I want to spend so much time there ? " Was his favourite comment but I kept on going even though I knew sometimes I would return  home to the dreaded killer silence and a list of never ending questions .

  As you can tell the worm was now begining to slowly and  successfully turn and I was becoming a much stronger person by the day and my inner strength was rapidly returning , I had begun to start standing my ground and started saying No ! occasionly , he hated every single minute now I was becoming the independent person I used to be . I actually had some friends , I now had my own bank account ( nothing in it but I had one ) and I wasn't keeping quite anymore when he had one of his temper tantrums .

He then started buying himself some new more modern clothes and spending a lot more time going on the Internet  ( I later discovered some of it was on dating web sites )  . He started doing his own washing which was a little strange considering I'd been doing it all for all those years and then oddly buying himself his own hoover ( we already had a  decent working one in the cupboard ) . I think all this was supposed to some how make me feel jealous or something but it all had gave me was the opposite effect . 

I had begun to realise he actually needed me more than I had ever really needed him .  I really didn't care less what he was up to , his apprent quick trips to the nearest supermarket that could take hours ( its barely a five minute walk away ) or his smirk when he was sending someone a message just made me laugh because I knew what he was trying to do and it wasn't going to work on me now  .