The trips to his place became a regular thing......
As time went on I was slowly allowed to be seen with him in public and even got introduced to a couple of his friends ( later discovered he didnt actually have that many ) but I always had to be checked out before we left to make sure that I wasn't " showing to much flesh " or I wasn't wearing too much make-up and the " constructive helpful criticisms " started to appear ( stupidy unaware what was slowly begining to happen ) .
I met his mum and the rest of his family who seemed to like me ( should add they still do thankfully ) and his mum would regularly condem his wife for everything she had done to her precious little baby boy , saying to anyone who would listern how evil she was and nothing of course was her totally innocent sons fault . Perfect example of learnt behaviour there maybe ? 🤔 .
Divorce proceedings began and he had to fill in his side of events which of course were totally differant to hers . She dared to suggest that he was actually selfish with his money , how he had purposely cut her off from her friends and family , how he refused to get a landline phone fitted and how he had even held her forcibly against a wall threating her on more than one occasion ( I discovered a lot later on he had done this to his own mother and even tried it unsuccesfully with me a couple of times too ) .
He of course naturally denied everything saying that she was obviously lying and that hadn't he told me before that she was just nothing but an attention seeker . He looked deeply hurt and offended that anyone would actually believe he was capable of such outrageous behaviour to another fellow human being (oddly enough none of her alleged endless affairs were mentioned by either of them in the divorce papers ) .
It was around this time I first noticed how his face would seem to become distant , hard and bitterly cold looking with almost despised hatred in his eyes but I just put it all down to the anger he feeling about the situation he was dealing with .
How could these things being said about him all be possibly true and be the actions of the same man I thought I knew ? I remember discussing this with him one day shortly afterwards whilst we drove to the coast for a nice summers day out ( after I of course had paid for the petrol because apprently it had all been all my idea in the first place ) and he stated yet again that everything she said was a lie and all she ever really wanted was his money .
Have you noticed the tiny cracks begining to slowly appear in his behaviour towards me yet ? because I couldn't at the time . They were so small and slight that they were hardly noticable at the time , like had no idea what I was about to face in my future .
Like I said before , abusers start with the little things and then before you notice your under their complete and total control getting smothered by them and your living life their way. You go along with it all just to keep the peace and will do everything and anything that can help prevent them going into that massive sulk that can go on for days if not weeks sometimes .
When this does happen the silence can be increibly powerful and painful , their not bothered who notices it either because of course its always all your fault for being unreasonable and over dramatic .
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