My story Part 3 .

  There I was walking home alone one evening about a week or so after the first meeting....... 

I had just dropped a friend off home on a Sunday night , next came the slightly scary part of walking past a cemetery late at night especially when it was a full moon ( done plenty of times before and always grateful to get to the main road at the top of the hill ) . I was about half way up the hill when a red Ford Cortina drove down , it stopped and then someone called my name.

OMG !! ...It was only the abandoned one from the other night ! 😳

After the initial hello's and how are you doing were over with next came " I knew you'd be out tonight so I thought I'd try to find you ". Like I've mentioned before I was a bit of an idiot for sob story's back then so when I was asked would I like to go back to his place because he felt lonely I of course did the stupid thing and I agreed ( OK maybe not the best idea when it's late at night and your a young female 🤔 ) but being young and what I thought at the time independent it seemed an alright thing to do . 

Now this is where I should have had some suspicions and alarm bells ringing because instead of driving us straight there I was asked would I mind just getting out the car just around the corner from his place so his neighbour's couldn't see us arrive together and I of course agreed to tbe request and found myself on a five minute walk late at night in an area i had never been to before ( yes I know another major red flag moment 🚩🚩🚩 ) .

  His place was a small neat tidy flat with a photo of his young child on the wall . We sat and had a couple of cuppas and chatted about how he'd been poorly treated by his wife , how over dramatic , unfair and attention seeking she was and again more of how he knew she'd been having affairs since they were married .  He of course in his own mind had been the complete perfect husband and had absolutely no idea how or why it all ended in the totally deverstating way that it had .  

I listened to all his horror story's about how he worked really hard whilst she stayed at home with the little one , how she always moaned that she had no communication with her family or friends , that she was always after his hard earned money and not forgetting of course her constant affairs ( how she managed to do all with a young child in tow is anyone's guess ) . He even suggested that his very young child may not even be his because she couldn't be trusted . Each and every story was to a certain point fully believable and all told with a sad face and even sadder eyes so why wouldn't I believe everything I was being told ?

It started getting a bit late and with work for both of us in the morning he drove me back home , again doing the careful not being seen together thing because according to him he might get blamed for having an affair if we were seen together . The only thing exchanged before his departure being my home phone number because he didn't have a phone at his place but he could ring me from work ( remember his wife had said she had no communication with her family ) .

 At the time I thought I'd look forward to him possibly calling me and maybe we'd be able to meet up again or even go out somewhere . Never once did I question at the time why on earth would his wife possibly want to do such  terrible horrendous things after only being married and having his baby in less than two years ( It all happened well before Facebook so couldn't be nosey and check anything out )  ... how completely bloody dumb arse must I of been back then to believe any of it !! 

  This is how it all starts they play with your emotions , they find your soft side and then use it all to their own advantage . They need to come over as the abused and hurt in order to tug at your heart strings before later after a time they slowly slide and slither into their old habits and over time begin to show their true colours but by then it's far too late to make your escape because your all ready wrapped up in the spider Web of lies they've created . You simply just want to keep the peace and enjoy the good times ( yes there were a rare few ) and you avoid arguing and simply stay quite when "egg shell " moments happen because you know you'll only end up crying your river of silent tears and wondering if it really was all your fault as you had been told .

 Why couldn't I see the signs at the begining is yet another question I've never been able to answer because why wouldn't I want to believe what I was being told ? , he looked really sad when he spoke about things and his friend the other night had backed up his story about his wife leaving . The wife certainly wasn't living at his when I visited it and the only sign a young child had once lived there was a small wax crayon left behind a door .

Is it learnt behaviour or just someone who hasn't grown up yet and still insists on  getting away with throwing toddler hissy fits ? I have absolutely no idea but what I do know is that in their own strange unusual mind if it works and if it isn't broken then why fix it ? . 

  All the time that they refuse to see it's wrong , things will never change and so they will keep on exploting others . Nothing is and never will be a narcissists/ abusers fault , they will always play the injured party and it takes an extremly brave person to challenge them about it . Their acting is potentially Oscar winning , they even end up believing all their own rubbish and will deny with a passion and anger that they are possibly being untruthful .