Happy Mother's day !

Today is Mothers Day here in England !!!!!!.....

   So to all my fellow mums out there who are going through domestic abuse or have like myself managed to survive it and come out the other side I hope you manage to successfully enjoy the day !!!! 🌺

   Being a mother whilst having to deal with any forms of domestic abuse isn't easy , it's a major juggling act of trying to give as much normality and peace as possible whilst dodging the abuse from somewhere else and keeping as much of it as possible hidden from small eyes . Those children that have witness any of it or any of its after effects tend to in some cases grow up thinking its all perfectly normal and every child's parents act like that .

  There is always of course those who with no fault of their own loose contact with their children because for whatever reason they are not given custody of the child/children or they have been drip feed over a period of time endless accusations and untruths which unfortunately they believe . So this post is totally dedicated to not only all mums but also those dads who have had to face their female abusers and managed to successfully keep their children .

    Being a parent isn't always the easy going thing but it's down to us to teach and show our children that there's always a right way to live instead of wrong and they in turn fingers crossed will pass it all down to their future children. 

  I tend to believe that the behaviour from a domestic abuser is learnt growing up , if that's all they've witnessed then that's all they know ( I certainly think that's the case with my now ex ) . If a child sees an adult throwing a temper tantrum to get their own way or having a violent crazy hissy fit and it gets the end expected result why can't they do it too ?....( 2yr olds not included because its all a part of their learning ) .

   I remember very well being taught by my mum when I was growing up to always have good manners , always be polite and to always show respect and this I'd like to think I've passed down to my children (they thankfully take more after me than their father ) , it's a parents responsibility to teach their children how to be a good person . Saying please or thank you should come naturally but not to those that abuse , they say it but through gritted teeth or with a sarcastic smile to go along with it and never is it meant the way it should be .

   It's completely up to the individual parent but showing the next future generation good life lessons is entirely up to the adults living that life now , it's was never meant to be an easy life because if it was like that then it wouldn't take so long to live it but we can at least make that journey a little bit easier for them .

   Yes , there are many amazing Fathers , Aunts , Foster parents , Adoptive parents, older brothers or sisters who stand in to be a " mother figure " and they do an outstanding job so they too should never be forgotton on a day like today , why not simply give them a call , a text or a visit to remind them that you appreciate everthing they have done .

     This mother's day ( or any other day come to  think of it ) never forget who it was that brought you into this crazy world , who it was that first held you in their arms and who will always be your mother no matter what you may decide to do in your life .

  I don't and won't ever pretend to be the worlds greatest mother because I know I'm not but I'd like to think I've not done a bad job considering what I've had to deal with , no-one gets a guide book when a child is born ( apart from the obvious baby books ) , every single child is completely different and a unique individual so it's down to what ever that child is taught by their parents .

   If you don't want that spoilt little rude beast as a child then it's up to you to prevent it and if you don't want that child to become just like their abusive parent then it's your responsibility to prevent it the best way you can .

  Granted all of the above may sound easy and please believe me when I say it isn't but just because it isn't always that simple doesn't mean to say you can't try , without any guidance that child could turn completely wild with no care or thought for others around them . The domestic abusers of this world are all great examples of exactly what you wouldn't want your child to be like . I don't know about everyone else but I most deffinatly don't want to be my children's bad excuse when they have grown up as to why they feel the need or want to lash out or threaten someone else .

  Every photo used today are my own and all grown in my garden , some from seed , some from cuttings and some brought but all are what they are because of the care I have put into raising and growing them . I've taken that responsibility to grow them and they in turn have repaided me ( and all the variouse insects and bee's) by blooming with all their various glorious colours in order for me to sit back with my usual cup of tea to enjoy the show . 

  

   Your children are just like those flowers in my garden , they need your help and constant guidance in order to become that perfect , strong beautiful flower that you want them to be ......