Mystoryofdomesticabuse.de

Monday, January 1, 2024

Something Special.

 


Special places are called that for a really good reason , we've all got one or maybe two but they all do the same thing......

 The images used today are all of mine and it's just a small simple classic ever unchanging English seaside town but that's exacly why I love it , you all know my passion for being outside regardless of the weather and this place is the one that garrented works for me everytime ( those who know me well enough will know exactly where it is but for those that don't well I'm sorry but it wouldn't be quite so special and secret if everyone knew where it was ) .

I first feel in love with the place when I young whilst on a family holiday way back in the mid 70s and from then on its called me back endless times , I've even taken my children there and they in turn love it there too . So what makes it so special to me ?........



Because it has kept all my childhood secrets that were written in the sand for the tide to wash away and as I became older its kept all my darkest thoughts and dreams . Anything once spoken in a whisper or any longed for wishes made were swept up in a sea breeze never to be heard or seen again by anyone else , any secrets once told I know would be kept safely secret for all time . All of my dreams and happy ever afters are thanks to to the sand , sea and air held here .

When I was living through my darkestest dismal days of domestic abuse it was this place I saw when I closed my eyes at night , it was this place I used to visualise whilst I was in labour with all three of my children ( apprently I was just showing off not having any form of a painkiller for all three ) and most importantly it was the only place inside my head that my now domestic abusive ex could never get to take away from me  or use against me .

  He knew how strongly I felt about this place but he couldn't move it away or change how I felt about it no matter how hard he tried , it was all mine and I will never surrender it to anyone . The photos used today are all my own and none really don't do it nearly enough justice but whilst writting this today all the warmth and happy days spent there are rushing back and it still makes me smile even on this slightly soggy day to remember it all ( why is it always warm and sunny when I picture it in my mind 🤔 ).

 Perfect endless sunny summer days spent on the sandy beach , collecting different  interesting shells , bits of drift wood and for some strange reason trying to dig down as far as I could go became my eagerly awaited annual holiday , swimming in the sea was garrented event no matter how cold it felt to begin with and then of course there was always the classic Fish and Chips that seemed to taste even better when eaten straight out the paper whilst sitting on the sea wall .

 Wintertime it's full of its all powerful gusts of extremly strong wind , there's cold hands , windswept hair and wrapping up warm always a garrentee but its still glorious for clearing those all too messed up cobwebs from a foggy mind . The sea proving just how masterful it can really be on a December day with its roaring waves and leaving the taste of salt in the air .



 Now you've met my perfect place , where's yours ?....

 Everyone has one  , it's that place you can transport or time travel yourself back to in your dreams at any time , it's that place where you feel safe and be at peace with yourself , it's that place you will never forget and the place that will always mentally protect you , I've spoken about happy places before and it's sort of the same thing but not nearly quite as special .

  Those that have been domestically abused sometimes need that special place in their minds to escape to when needed , most people have a place like that but to an abuse victim it can be the only thing that keeps them sane . If your in this positions then try it , think of that place that inwardly makes you smile and focus on it , slow your breathing right down and concentrate on it .  Not always an easy thing to do granted when all around is going crazy but try it afterwards when your poor brain is trying to process all those recent events it can somtimes help to clear the muggy thoughts a bit and clear your thinking  .

  Every single tiny detail needs to be replayed , every single shop , lamp post , seagull and pebble or whatever it is carefully placed in the picture perfectly all ready to be viewed in your mind when needed and then when the abuser starts all over yet again it's there in the background of your mind ready to surround its self around you like a warm comfy blanket ready to protect your inner self .

   Close your eyes and picture your place and I bet you will see each and every tiny little detail , how you use those thoughts and feelings is a totally individual one but mine helped save me on many an occasion .  Is it a form of meditation or self therapy I don't know but it certainly works for me and I hope it works it's magical spell on others . It can take a little practise to begin with but trust me it's worth evey second when you start doing it . 

Do I still feel the same about my special place now I'm free of my Abuser ?....

  Yes absolutely without question  !!!!!!!!!

  



   

 

  

 



  

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Have no regrets.

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