Why start and why continue ?

 

My domestic abuse story first started in 1986 and it continued for an unbelievable 28 years !

Just like the trees in the photo above ( photo taken by myself ) the domestic abuse started small just like a seed but it eventually grew into epic proportions untill it become almost too big to deal with .

During that time I delt with what seemed like endless emotional abuse , financial abuse , basically rape ( I may of agreed to it but only after being intimidated into it ) .

 None of the above was particularly pleasant ( she says using classic British sarcasm ) and no it wasn't obvious what my life was going to be like when the relationship first started and it took a good couple of years for that seed of abuse to firmly take root and grow  .

  I've already explained a couple of times now at of why I felt that I needed to put all my memories and thoughts about what had happened down somewhere and yes its been a fantastic way to process all those past events whilst giving myself some very much needed therapy at the same tine , at the start it was all for purely selfish reasons and its certainly helped put a few ghosts to bed along the way . 

   I never really realised just how many people out there who have been through similar or even worse untill I joined up with Twitter , Facebook , Quora , Instagram,  X ( was Twitter ) and Threads , this then gave me the crazy notion of maybe keep going with these posts so that others could see you can survive abuse and you dont have to be all alone .

 

  I'm a bit of a Frank Sinatra/Ratpack fan and hanging on one of my walls is this......

It sums up exactly how I live my life now ......my way !!

My life now isn't always perfect ( who can honestly say theirs is ?) but it's all now lived under my rules and no one else's . 

If you read that little profile thing at the side that explains about who I am , you will see that I'm as much in control of my own life as I possibility can be and I am now a eternal annoying optimist . No one will ever control the way I live my life again .

 

 Now I'm about to ask anyone out there who may read this for a massive favour .... I need your help . 

I need followers , I need others to help spread the word about how you can go forward after domestic abuse ,  I need others to help show how much stronger you can become afterwards  . 

Between us all we can show others that they are not and never will be alone .

Those who have been there will know exactly how dark , lonely and oppressive it can all feel whilst being abused and that's why it's really important for us survivors to stick together and shout out loud about our various abuse so it then can encourage others who are still going through it to see how wrong it all is and that life can become great again .

 The only way to beat those total waste of space evil abusers is to outnumber them , bullies are nothing but groveling pathetic little cowards really when someone or something bigger comes along and together we can be that something bigger .

  

 As a mass group from all over the world we can all help slowly send all the abusers back under the slimy little grotty rocks they originally came from , together we can reach out and help guide those that may need it . 

 You should never be afraid of a domestic abuser but the abusers should be afraid of us survivors !!

I have never and will never treat someone else the way I was once treated , I was raised to have respect for others and to treat other people how I wish to be treated myself , I'd like to think I have taught my children the same good manners I was once taught and they in turn will pass it all on . 

Its a massive shame that all the abusers out there were obviously not given the same lessons in life or else they wouldn't be way they are . 

You are not born with with the ability to abuse someone , it's all learnt from someone else and the pathetic excuses of " I cant help it , its just the way I am" or " you made me do it " are just proves that they were allowed to get away with it growing up and never taught to take responsibility for their own actions . 

There is and never will be a good enough excuse or reason for those that abuse someone else , there is only one person doing it all and thats the abuser , no one else is raising their hand in order to strike out at someone and no one else is forcing them to do things like  they do to others .

Thankgully not all abusers children turn out just like them but unfortunatly some do and so it goes on and it will keep going on untill we start educating others about how wrong it all is .

Some will listern and some won't but those that do hear will inform others along the way . 

  One day eventually before the sun finally burns itself out I hope that everyone will live non abusive life's and the world becomes a much better place but unfortunatly I doubt very much it will ever happen in my lifetime .

 So untill that day gets here I will continue being grateful for ever setting sun I see and I'll look forward to the next brand new day with excited anticipation never knowing what surprises it may bring .

 ( photo used below from my own collection taken by myself )