There was a time....

 Who actually really likes or enjoys going to work ? O.k maybe not actually enjoy it but the feeling of independence of being able to go or do anything ....... 

  It wasn't that long ago when there was a time that I wasn't allowed to have of that sort of independence , I was supposed to stay locked and hidden away so no one could see me ,  talk to me or even communicate with me in any way . 

Even speaking to any male who just be happens to be serving me in a supermarket was classed as a severe case of seriouse flirting by both them and me . In my exs mind there was only one reason why a man would possibly want to talk to a female and it certainly wasn't about asking how much a tin of baked beans could be . 

Regardless of their age or preferences I had apparently ( or at least according to him )  had somehow managed to have affairs with the entire male population of England !! ( don't think I'd have the energy to do be able to do that if I'm honest 🤣 ) .

   

As I've said many times before I'm now extremly lucky and grateful to have a job I still love doing even if it's been a few years now and I recently gained a second one ( yes I know I'm mad for doing two 🙃) and there's times after I get home , had a cuppa and then finally sit down worn out that I question my own sanity but I then remind myself that everything I am doing now is because I'm now is because I want to and not because someone else wants me to . 

 I now longer have to hand any of my well earnt money over to anyone else now (apart to pay bills of course ) and I no longer have to almost vertually beg just to get a a few pence in order to buy something like a loaf of bread .

 I no longer have to panic if I'm running a little bit late getting home from work and if I'm asked to to go on a night out with my work mates I can just simply glam up wearing what ever I want and just go without asking anyone's permission or thinking I may get a phone call anytime  asking why I'm not home yet. 

It's all those simple little things in life thatĺ you don't really miss untill someone else tries to take it all away .

 

 Many people out there proberly won't really understand what it's like to have this sort of freedom taken away because they've never really lost it to begin with but to those of us who have getting your freedom back is like having the window suddenly flung open wide and you get to spread your wings and fly far far away and when you get there uou just keep on flying .

 I may get a bit tired and a slightly worn out sometimes doing two jobs but its totally worth every single minute of what I'm doing now .  Everything I decide to do is all my own decisions, if I make any mistakes ( which I know I've made a few along the way ) I just learn from them and start all over again untill I get things right .

Domestic abusers try to clip the wings of whoever are unfortunate enough to end up being with them and what I've never fully understood is why they ever bothered to get together with someone in the first place if all they want to do is to change or mould that person into someone else , doesn't make any logical sense really does it ? 

  

The part that's even crazier is when they finally fed up with you and don't want you anymore they then don't want anyone else to have you either so they will try their best to spoil everything for you and make you feel as unhappy as they possibly can .

 If anyone else believes half of what my ex now says about me I would have put in a Police cell and taken to court for being one of those charming ladies that sometimes stand on a street corner late at night asking gentleman if they would like to play some fun games ( and we're not talking Ludo or chess here ) , either that or I should be taken to a nice room with padded wallpaper were you get to wear your jacket safely secured back to front for ever . 

I'm fairly positive its deffinatly not me whose the crazy dreamer but I certainly someone who is !

 

 Yes I can honestly say hand on heart that I now love my newly found freedom and I enjoy absolutely every single minute of it  !!!!! . 

There's no more pacing up and down feeling like I'm trapped in the cage of domestic abuse just like a wild tiger who dreams of breaking free , no more feeling like I'm being kept on an extremy short lead that restricts my every move and no move feeling like my whole life is totally worthless and a total waste of time .

Every single decision I make now is all my own and no one else's ,  there is no more dark grey clouds of abuse hovering over me and trying to smother me ,  my freedom is now outstanding 😊 . I get to do all the normal usual everyday stuff and plus some fantastic last minute ones too . If I suddenly have a totally crazy last minute mad cap idea that I suddenly want to travel to the other side of the world just for a strawberry ice cream then I can ( not done it yet but WOW what a great idea !!! ) 

  Just like the simple paper plane thats in the picture below  once you make that decision to take flight you may not necessarily know exactly what direction you may be going in but you still just keep on going enjoying the whole experience of flying !