Love shouldn't hurt .

 

It's now just only one week left till the excitement of Christmas day .

  Everyone should now be super busy making sure all the gifts are brought , the Christmas cards all written in and sent and everyones favourite the sprouts have been on the boil since July . 

  The world is now all geared up ( well, almost anyway ) for Christmas day , but is it really ?.....

   There will still be that unique group of people out there who are dreading it , not because of the preparation of the glorious Christmas day dinner that's expected but because those people now have possibly a whole week or even longer living with their domestic abuser with no day off from it . 

It's times like this that those that are abused don't look forward to because they know what could happen to them , abusers will reach their ultimate boiling point far too quickly and their victims spend their time constantly on guard always being prepared for the expected .

  Who has a nice drink or three/four on Christmas eve ?.. ..

 You get all glammed up and you're off down to the local pub to share the Christmas spirit with friends or family , you have a few glasses of something nice and then at the end of the night you spend some time saying your merry Christmas's , having a hug and kiss then all say " see you next year !! " , next comes the slightly wobbly walk back home and then sleep in your bed ready for the mornings excitement .

  

  Unfortunately, it doesn't work the same when you're involved in a domestic abusive relationship , they have a drink, and the abuse can escalate to a ridiculous level . There's no hugs or kisses, just viscous verble emotional or physical abuse . If it hadn't started on Christmas eve then it will happen at some point , for some strange and unknown reason all abusers seem to have a strong dislike of anything or anyone being happy , they don't seem to have that part wired up properly in their brains so they then do the only thing they know how to do and that's lash out out someone or something .

  Opening presents should be full of gratitude , happiness and laughter but not from an abuser , if your really lucky, you may get a brief thank you thrown randomly in your direction but within the hour you will start to get the comments like " I've never liked that sort of chocolate anyway " , " what am I supposed to do with that ? " or if your really lucky, you could find that gift up so lovingly brought and wrapped up go sailing through the air and land shattered or broken on the floor. 

No I don't have a clue either why it's times like Christmas, Easter or any other holiday ( Covid lockdowns included of course ) that seem to just bring out the worse in a domestic abuser but it just does and there will hundreds of people out there dreading it and what it can bring . 

  That's exactly why I'm writting this today because I'm asking for everyone to think about those that don't have such a merry little Christmas . I once wasted far too much of my valuable years trying to make Christmas what it should be for my children , yes they had loads of great Christmas's but never as good as they should of been . One year they clearly heard Father Christmas throw a massive temper tantrum chucking cardboard boxes around downstairs which was excused by saying naughty Rudolph had a disagreement with another reindeer over who wanted to be at the front of the sleigh ( thankfully believed and they went back to sleep after being told I'd put an extra carrot out for them all ) .

   Thanks to my now exs inability to control his stupid child like temper my children who where still quite young at time nearly had their whole illusions of Father Christmas shattered , they still remember it evensfter all this time  ,  their all grown up and laugh about it now of course ( thankfully they have my sense of humour ) .

  Please listern out for anything that doesn't sound right on your travels this christmas , I'm not for one single minute suggesting you interfer in anything but if you suspect someone is in any possible danger of getting physically hurt then please don't hesitate to make that anonymous phone call to the police, it could be the greatest present you could give to someone this Christmas . 

Next bit comes and its New Years Eve with again people possibly enjoying themselves with variouse glasses of their favourite drink and come those chimes at midnight there will be not only the traditional New Years resolution 's but also drunken domestic abusers ready for the next round of pain and suffering . Abusers will always be out there somewhere and any alcohol intake just makes them feel even more super invincible, this time of year is never easy if your a victim of domestic abuse , if you feel you need to scream , shout or even swear to someone else during this or any other time then please find the blog email in my profile ( I'll most likely join in with the swearing too ) , I'm not a therapist or a counsellor but I am a survivor and know exactly what this time of year can be like when you have to tolerate living with a domestic abuser. 

  As usual let's end on a positive happy thought .......

   Christmas is a time for loving all family and good friends . It's about sharing the laughter and the smiles , enjoy the time with those you care about and don't forget those that may not have that outstanding Christmas dinner to look forward to or that joy of having a family , we all cook extra on christmas day so why not share it with someone who may need it ? 🤔

Final photo is one of my own .