I'm busy doing nothing.

It's days like today that I look back on what life used to once be like for me and then what I have now....

 The photo above is one of my own many personal ones that I've taken and its shared because it proves my point about me now being totally content with the life I now have and as I'm sat here in my garden writting this post on this beautiful gloriously warm sunny summers afternoon enjoying a very well earnt cup of tea and a couple of ginger nut biscuits after work . The birds are singing , the bees are busy buzzing around looking for the next flower , the butterflies are fluttering like confetti in the sky and as days go it's been pretty good one so far , but then it does all help to make me remember what my days used to be like a few years ago and be completely grateful for everything I have now , my days back then certainly were never allowed to be this chilled out or relaxes and that's for sure 🦋 🐦🐌🐛🌳 .

 

 No way would I of ever gotten away with just simply sitting down relaxing doing absolutly nothing , drinking my tea and just generally watching the world go by  , no way would it be so quite or peaceful and no way would there be this no need to rush around in order to get everything done just in case the abuser suddenly came back home kicking off for the umpteenth time about absolutly nothing in particular ( mind you thinking sbout it I wasn't actually allowed to go to work back then either 🤔 ) .

   

This then makes me appreciate in turn that I now get to do things in my own sweet sometimes haphazard and quite often silly bomb happy little way , there's no worry of waiting for what could happen unexpectedly and deffinatly deffinatly no extra unneeded or unwanted stress or anxiety , my life is most deffinatly a totally a no Worry , no Hurry kind of life and I absolutly love it .

  

 I'm 100% grateful for everything and everyone I have now in my life and to anyone else whose stuck in the dark unforgiving bottomless pit of domestic abuse you too can have this kind of calmness , all you have to do is just take a mighty big deep breath and make that final leap for freedom . Granted Its not always easy and yes you do need to be braver than you've ever been or think you can be but if I can do it after 28yrs extremly long years of abuse then so can anyone else .  

I keep on saying it but its absolutly true anyone can just walk or run away from the abuse they are having to deal with if they really and truly want to . Never believe you can't do it because I promise yes you can , it's the negative thinking that your abuser has passed on to you that's the only thing that's stopping you . Once you leave behind all that negativity you will start seeing the sunshine start to come back in your life once again and you'll regain your self worth and value in no time  .

       

Always remember life is far too short to get it wrong or to waste any more of those valuable years being domestically abused by someone who says they care about you . Don't wait for life to slowly trickle by thinking you don't matter because you do and always will . Just grab life by the horns , break away from the domestic abuse and enjoy every single wonderful breath you take 😊

As the the late great Mr Noel Coward would sing..... 

 He was totally spot on with this way of thinking , with the right mind set you too can be seriously and totally busy doing absolutly nothing at all , going absolutly nowhere and yes its your own free choice and doing it means you won't have anytime left to be unhappy about because you never will have the time 😊 .

 

   As you  have probably noticed its the old hippy part of of me thats coming out today , its the side of me that had to hidden for far too long because it was considered " Not normal " but if that's the case then what counts as normal ?....

 I'd much rather be my abnormal self any day than be boring , personally I think it's all the domestic abusers out there that are " Not normal " not me !

 O.k I may have a few unusual and slightly odd habits ( like dipping my French Fries in my Strawberry milkshake 😋 ) but compared to all those domestic abusers out there mine are completly harmless and at least they don't hurt or effect anyone else . 

 

Thats the benifit of being allowed to be true to yourself  with no abuser control , your free to make your life completly your own in your own way by doing your own thing . 

Never feel your not a good enough person just because your abuser tells you and most importantly don't ever think you need to change in order to become the person your abuser says he wants . 

Always stay unique !

 Why try to be like everyone else ? ....

If we were all the same the world would be a

boring place don't you think ? .

  

  I think I'll stick to the chill out and relax  way of life now I've been lucky enough to be able to refind it again and I'll carry on drinking tea , munching on the odd random biscuit , counting the ants wandering around and watching the squirrels teasing my two  cats by jumping to the next branch in yhe tree at the very last minute ( I'm not sure which one gets the most enjoyment out of the last one but it certainly makes me laugh to watch it ) .

It may all sound like a very simplistic easy going type of existence but I'll have you know it can  take a great deal of hard work to do absolutly nothing !! 😊 .